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I am about to have sex with a woman who has had HSV-2 for the last 35 years (since she was 14) and I want to understand how I can protect myself from getting infected. Her sores always appear on her back, at the bottom of the spine, and she hasn’t had an outbreak in over a year. I am mostly concerned about asymptomatic shedding:
1. Assuming asymptomatic shedding is happening, is she shedding the virus only from her genitals or is she also shedding it from the area at the bottom of the spine where the sore usually shows up.
2. Assuming asymptomatic shedding is happening, can I contract the virus by inserting my finger in her vagina, touching her clitoris and touching the area around her genitals. If indeed I could get infected through my finger, what would that process be, and where would my infection then show up, and how would I best protect myself from that kind of infection?
3. Assuming asymptomatic shedding is happening, can clothing, like underwear, protect me from the virus, if I were to touch her genital areas with the underwear in between? But, what if the underwear were wet from her vaginal fluids, would those vaginal fluids transmit the virus through her underwear?
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1. Assuming asymptomatic shedding is happening, is she shedding the virus only from her genitals or is she also shedding it from the area at the bottom of the spine where the sore usually shows up.
Without an actual sore present, that area is not infectious as the skin is too thick for shedding. But she could be shedding genitally
2. Assuming asymptomatic shedding is happening, can I contract the virus by inserting my finger in her vagina, touching her clitoris and touching the area around her genitals. If indeed I could get infected through my finger, what would that process be, and where would my infection then show up, and how would I best protect myself from that kind of infection?
If the skin on your hands is intact, no none of that is a concern. If you somehow got herpetic whitlow, a hand infection, it would show up as a group of blisters on your finger, generally quite noticeable in my experience. The best way to protect you is for her to be on suppression (daily antiviral medicine) and just to observe for breaks in your hand skin.
3. Assuming asymptomatic shedding is happening, can clothing, like underwear, protect me from the virus, if I were to touch her genital areas with the underwear in between? But, what if the underwear were wet from her vaginal fluids, would those vaginal fluids transmit the virus through her underwear?
Absolutely underwear would be protective. I would not worry at all about fluid that wicks through fabric.
Terri
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Regarding 1:
Can I then assume that during asymptomatic shedding it would be save to spoon and have my penis touch the area where the sore would usually be during an outbreak.correct
Regarding 2:
What exactly would you consider a break in the hand skin? Obviously an open visible cut, but would you also include cuticles that had been picked and torn and then cut off or bitten off, never really bleeding, but showing raw skin before healing completely. During that stage would you consider that a break in the skin?yes, I would consider that a break in the skin
After having touched her genitals with my fingers (during asymptomatic shedding) could I then get infected if right afterwards I touched my unprotected penis (or any other part of me) with the same fingers?
I think that is extremely unlikely
And how bad would it be to have herpetic whitlow? Would that be a recurring infection like HSV2 with further consequences, or just a one-time infection?
Whitlow does recur, yes. But honestly, I think you are way on the edge of what is likely here, WAY out.
Regarding 3:
I am assuming that you also mean that I would be save if my unprotected penis came in touch with fluids leaking through underwear.Correct
Daily antiviral medicine is not an option as she is does not want to take any pharmaceuticals, but she is taking something like olive leave extract and oregano oil on a daily basis. She is age 51, has had HSV2 since age 14 and has not had an outbreak for a year.
– Would you estimate that she still has a lot of asymptomatic shedding?
It is not possible to know how much, but I would assume that she is shedding some, yes. People do shed less often, the longer they have herpes.
– And how great a risk would it be if we had unprotected intercourse at times when she doesn’t have an outbreak? Condom use doesn’t seem like a real option, because i have occasional ED, and I lose my erection very quickly when using a condom, even when taking Cialis. I am just trying to find ways to have sex without the need for a condom.
If you have sex with her with no condoms and no meds on board, the risk is about 4% in a year that you will acquire herpes, having sex about twice per week.
TerriThank you
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I definitely would recommend that you get tested – I was just assuming you had been, my error. If you are both positive for HSV 2, you can do whatever you like sexually without concerns of transferring, etc.
Yes, I meant highly unlikely, sorry, thanks for clarifying.
Your English is so good, I had no idea it was not your first language!Terri
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The normal screening test for HSV 2 is the IgG antibody test – never ever do IgM testing. You can get that test from your regular physician or you can order it online for yourself – it doesn’t matter how you get it only that you get the right test. I often recommend healthcheckusa.com as I think their services are quite good. They would send you to a local lab for a blood draw. The best test is herpes western blot but it will pick up only about 2% more cases of HSV 2 than the screening test – it is remarkably better for HSV 1, however than the screening test.
The thing is, when we test people for herpes who are positive and they didn’t know they were infected, most, within 6 months, will be able to identify a herpes symptom. This is not because they are having sex with someone who is HSV 2 positive but because they have been taught the subtle ways that herpes can present. So no, if you already have HSV 2 having sex with someone else who has HSV 2 will not cause you to start having outbreaks.Terri
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Assuming again that asymptomatic shedding is happening from her genital area, where exactly is the shedding happening? Is it in her vagina, around the clitoris, the vulva, is it also happening from the skin beyond her vulva? Does it also shed from inside her thighs or the pubic area? Is the virus in the vaginal fluids too? Could you please be specific about this.
Shedding happens from the genital skin – could be labia, vagina cervix anus. Because the virus will leave the tissue, it can be carried in vaginal secretions, yes. It is not shed from the thighs or buttocks or pubic area.
Also in terms of my penis, which areas of the penis are more ‘receptive’ to the virus?
The shaft of the penis is most vulnerableRegarding HSV1: Can HSV1 be transmitted in times of asymptomatic shedding from mouth to genitals, or mouth to mouth for that matter?
Yes, HSV 1 can be shed from the mouth and lips and can be transmitted to genitals or mouth.
Before making any assumptions, I think you should be tested to see what you actually have and don’t have.
Terri
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If she has not had a recurrence yet, there is an 85% chance she won’t have another one. But she could still be shedding virus from the genital tract, though really infrequently compared to HSV 2. If you had a big cold sore on your lip at some point, you are infected with HSV 1 lifelong and are not vulnerable to her HSV 1 genitally.
Terri
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