Both with hsv1

[needknowledge]

5 years ago my husband found a scrape on his penis shaft near the head. He went to the doctor who swabbed it. It came back negative for hsv but the doctor said he can’t think of anything else that causes raw spots on the penis. My husband fessed up to cheating on me and we have gotten past this issue emotionally. Physically is different. We both got tested and we both test positive for hsv1 and negative for hsv2. He never had another spot show up in 5 years. I have insisted on condoms ever since, partly in fear for my health and partly for punishment, but I miss the intimacy and freedom. Being an older couple, he has started having erectile issues in the past 6 months and the condoms don’t help. Is it safe for us to have sex without protection? If things didn’t work out, is hsv1 something you disclose to future partners?

[Terri Warren]

If you both only have HSV 1, then you are free to have sex without condoms, yes. There is no way to know if the scrape was herpes or not. Have either or both of you had cold sores on your lip? If yes, then that is where the HSV 1 antibody is coming from. How long after the scrape did you get the antibody test? And how long before the scrape did he have sex with someone else?

If it doesn’t work out, you might ask future partners if they have ever had a cold sore. If the answer is yes, then they have it also and you do not need to disclose unless you want to.

I think not using condoms and returning to the intimacy that you had previously will go a long ways toward repairing the feelings of closeness in your marriage that may have been lost when you learned of his other partner.

Terri

[needknowledge]

Neither of us have had cold sores that we can remember.
He noticed the abrasion a couple weeks after the encounter. He says it was never blistered, just a raw spot that didn’t hurt.
As I said, the swab was negative, but the doctor said it could have been too late to show up.

The blood tests were about two months after the encounter.
Is that long enough for the antibodies to show up?

I am a forgiving person, but I do not want to take a chance with my health or future.

[Terri Warren]

If he was tested two months after the encounter, it would be best for him to get retested when four months have passed since the encounter.

Very hard to know if the scrape was herpes without a swab test to confirm.

I understand that you don’t want to take any chances with your health.

Terri

[needknowledge]

It has been 5 years, so I will have him get re-tested….what test should we ask for?

[Terri Warren]

You want the HSV 1 and 2 IgG type specific antibody test. No others!

This is your last post on this subscription. If you have other questions, please feel free to renew.

Terri

• This reply was modified 8 years, 4 months ago by Terri Warren.

[Author]

Posts