confused on how I got herpes

[llstack]

I am 70 years old. I married my husband in 1997 when I was 52 years old. Prior to that I had several long term and short term boyfriends. My husband and I had great unprotected sex for all of those years till he died in early 2013. Five months later I met a man (August 2013) that I am still with and we have had unprotected sex. Several months back (March 2015) I was diagnosed with HV2. I was totally shocked. The DR at first said I could have had HV2 for 20-40 years and not have known it….but now she says she totally feels that I got it from my new boy friend. He has not had a blood test so he doesn’t know if he has it.

What is your opinion about how I got it? From someone many years back and not know it or now from my boyfriend who has not ever shown any symptoms?

[Terri Warren]

I don’t have an opinion with this much information about how you got this. It would be important that your current partner get tested to find out if he is infected with HSV 2 or not (via IgG testing only). Not having symptoms does not mean he is not infected so testing is the only way to know for certain. Is he concerned about you infecting him?

And how exactly were you diagnosed?

Terri

• This reply was modified 6 years, 12 months ago by Terri Warren.

[llstack]

Thank you,.
1. I was diagnosed in March 2015 when I felt something funny and went to DR and she did a swab and sent it to a lab and got a positive for H2.
2. Yes, he does seem somewhat concerned about me infecting him….but he doesn’t seem too interested in getting the blood test. So now after almost 2 years of unprotected sex, I take Valtrex and for vaginal intercourse he uses a condom now.
Question 2:
My current obgyn said she did not see any reason for me to take Valtrex. When diagnosed by the first Dr. , she prescribed it as I seemed to think it was important to take and not have new outbreaks…..and also I received info from Dr. Kelly (author of the book (love and thrive) that using condoms and taking Valtrex seemed to really minimize the percentage for transfer to one’s sexual partner. It seems to me that both my boyfriend and I plan to stay together for the long term.
What is your opinion about taking Valtrex?
Thank you.

[Terri Warren]

Valtrex taken daily reduces the risk of transmission by 48% so it is completely appropriate to reduce the risk of transmission. Condoms also reduce the risk of transmission by 30-50%
But there is an excellent chance that he too is infected and if he is, then there is no point in doing everything you and he can do to reduce the risk of transmission without first knowing if that is necessary!

Terri

[llstack]

This is my third/last question:

I am still puzzled about how I got herpres.
Do you think it is possible for me to have gotten herpes 30 years ago. and not had any symptom till March of this year, taking into consideration that I have had unprotected sex for the last 1.5 years with my current boyfriend?
I thought that if a person had herpes, you had unprotected sex with them, you could get it and it would show up right away….not delay for 1.5 years. Does that seem likely?
Or is it more likely that I got it from my current boyfriend and it just showed up rather than showing up in the beginning of our relationship?

[Terri Warren]

That’s a tough question and I don’t have an answer for you. it is possible that you’ve had herpes for 30 years and didn’t know it, yes, that does happen. Or it could be your current partner. I know this is frustrating for you, not knowing, but without your current partner being tested, there is just no way to know for sure.

This is your final post on this subscription. if you have more questions, please feel free to renew.

Terri

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