Dating an HSV-2+ Girl And Have Questions

[Idunnowhattoputhere]

Hi Terri –

First of all, thanks for running this forum, this site has been a very helpful resource for me.

I am dating a girl who has HSV-2 genitally. I like her a lot but obviously want to be careful. I have some questions for you:

1.) I think you posted somewhere that the greatest risk of transmission happens in the first 3 months of the relationship. Could you elaborate a little bit on why this is?

2.) The girl that I am dating is currently taking a daily dose of Valtrex (1 gram daily) and we are using condoms during sex. Is there anything else that can done to mitigate the risk? In particular, does showering immediately after sex help? Does keeping some pubic hair help prevent transmission? Does urinating immediately after sex help?

3.) Like all guys, I dislike condoms and prefer to not use them. Obviously, the best thing to do would be to use the condom all the time, but would using a condom for most of sex and then taking it off right before I’m ready to finish provide somewhat better protection than not using a condom at all? She is on birth control.

4.) The girl that I am dating says that she hasn’t had an outbreak in a while, and is able to feel outbreaks come on before they actually do. Is this consistent with your understanding of the virus? I would think that the greatest risk of transmission would be if we have sex directly before an outbreak and before she is aware of it – is this consistent with your understanding?

5.) I’ve read that as a guy, my risk of contracting sex assuming daily use of Valtrex by her and consistent condom use is about 1% per year. I would assume that my risk of contracting HSV-2 orally would be less than that, correct?

6.) If I did get HSV-2 orally, would I be less contagious to future sex partners than if I got it genitally?

7.) Lastly, how does the herpes virus actually get into the male body? Can it get in through the urethra, or does there need to be a tiny break in the skin for it to get in?

Thanks Terri!

[Terri Warren]

1.) I think you posted somewhere that the greatest risk of transmission happens in the first 3 months of the relationship. Could you elaborate a little bit on why this is?

I don’t know that I can tell you why, it is something that we know from studies of people with new infection – how long have been with a partner who has HSV 2 is a question that leads us to this answer

2.) The girl that I am dating is currently taking a daily dose of Valtrex (1 gram daily) and we are using condoms during sex. Is there anything else that can done to mitigate the risk? In particular, does showering immediately after sex help? Does keeping some pubic hair help prevent transmission? Does urinating immediately after sex help?

We don’t know if showering helps or not but it can’t hurt if you take it easy on your penis while washing. Shaving may open small breaks in the skin that would allow virus in more easily. Clipping hair is better.

3.) Like all guys, I dislike condoms and prefer to not use them. Obviously, the best thing to do would be to use the condom all the time, but would using a condom for most of sex and then taking it off right before I’m ready to finish provide somewhat better protection than not using a condom at all? She is on birth control.

Sure, that would work. The more condom use the better.

4.) The girl that I am dating says that she hasn’t had an outbreak in a while, and is able to feel outbreaks come on before they actually do. Is this consistent with your understanding of the virus? I would think that the greatest risk of transmission would be if we have sex directly before an outbreak and before she is aware of it – is this consistent with your understanding?

We know that people shed virus at varying times, sometimes completely without symptoms, sometimes before an outbreak, sometimes after. it is good that she is aware of an outbreak coming on – at least that’s an opportunity to be avoiding sex when you know virus is active.

5.) I’ve read that as a guy, my risk of contracting sex assuming daily use of Valtrex by her and consistent condom use is about 1% per year. I would assume that my risk of contracting HSV-2 orally would be less than that, correct?

Correct. HSV 2 does not like the mouth

6.) If I did get HSV-2 orally, would I be less contagious to future sex partners than if I got it genitally?

Far less contagious yes

7.) Lastly, how does the herpes virus actually get into the male body? Can it get in through the urethra, or does there need to be a tiny break in the skin for it to get in?

It gets in through microscopic breaks in the skin or penetrating very thin skin like an erect penis – not through the urethra

Terri

[Idunnowhattoputhere]

Thanks Terri, really appreciate the good info.

I have two follow up questions and then I think that’ll be it for me:

1.) I am negative for HSV-1 and negative for HSV-2. Even though she is taking a daily dose of Valtrex, if I were to contract Herpes I assume that it’s very likely that I would know it (i.e. have a strong initial outbreak since I don’t have any antibodies from HSV-1). Is that correct?

2.) Would there be any benefit to me taking a daily dose of Valtrex? I know there hasn’t been any research on it this, but intuitively it would seem like taking an agent that would inhibit the spread of Herpes would be beneficial for me. Do you think this would make sense or no?

Thanks Terri!

[Terri Warren]

I think it is likely that you would know it but that is not 100% true. But likely

No. The amount of antiviral medicine you would have to take to PREVENT infection would likely to very high, if it worked at all, and you would need to take it daily. Your call, but I seriously doubt it would prevent infection.

Terri

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