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I had sex twice using a condom with a woman who has had herpes for 20 plus years. She does not take the viral meds and has not had an outbreak in 7-8 years, I do not know if she has hsv 1 or 2, but am guessing 2.
I met someone else, I had tests run, I was negative for hsv 1 and 2, and it was using the IGG tests. but, it was only 5 weeks after my exposure (first question: how legit is that test result, percentage wise? I know 16 weeks is needed for conclusive).
She had tests run too, and was negative, except was talked out of getting herpes tests by her doctor, so she didn’t have them.
We had unprotected sex a couple times because she didn’t want to use a condom.
I then had protected sex with the woman who has herpes again.
I then had unprotected sex with the the second woman again. I am feeling regretful and foolish.
My question is: How at risk is the second woman for herpes? Do I need to tell her that I had sex with someone, protected, that has herpes? Should I wait until I test 4 months from now and have something conclusive before telling her that? I feel badly, but don’t want to stir her up if the risk is minimal… -
At 5 weeks after exposure, the test is somewhat less than 70% accurate – that is, at 16 weeks, there is slightly less than a 70% chance that the results will be the same as they are now.
If you continue to have sex with the woman not known to have herpes, I would very strongly suggest that she get tested for herpes in spite of bad advice (IMHO) from her doctor.
If indeed the second woman does not have herpes and that’s a big “if”, I think her risk is low since you used a condom with the woman who does have hereps and you only had sex with the woman with herpes 3 times. I think the risk is minimal but not zero. I am actually more concerned about the untested woman having herpes and not knowing it than I am about you having protected sex with a woman known to have herpes. Your call!Terri
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Well, I don’t know anything about her herpes status and neither do you. I also don’t know the exact percentage risk of having unprotected sex six times with a partner whose herpes status is not known. Generally speaking, unprotected sex with someone whose status is known is always a bit risky. If you continue to have sex with this person, do you think you will ask that they get tested for all common STI’s including herpes?
Terri
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I’m not suggesting that you not be with her again! I’m just saying that having sex without a condom with someone whose herpes status is not know, just in general, is not a good idea in my opinion. No, there is not way to know when she was infected if she is positive at this time.
Terri
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