Feeling a bit sick after kissing

[michael2018]

Hi Terri,

Thanks again for your help with my questions a few weeks ago. Here’s a reminder about my situation: I (male, no STIs) just started dating a woman who has herpes-2 both orally and genitally, and she’s on acyclovir every day. We’ve been careful to only kiss when she’s not having an active outbreak or feeling one coming on.

The good news is that the relationship is going wonderfully well after a few weeks 🙂

My question is that twice now I’ve felt physically bad after kissing her, and I’m wondering if it’s a sign that I’m contracting the virus.
1) A few days after our first kiss several weeks ago, I started feeling a bit weak and lethargic all over, similar to a cold or flu, but I didn’t have any other symptoms like sniffles or vomiting. My lips also became chapped (no cold sores that I could see, though), but that might be a coincidence since I was traveling and skiing as well. I felt completely better after a few days.
2) Last night, a couple of minutes after kissing her, I started to feel a bit of a soreness in my throat, and it’s still here the next morning, though not terrible (just mildly irritating), and I’m feeling mostly better after a shower and hot drink.

What do you think? Are these just coincidences or psychosomatic? Are they early signs that I’m contracting herpes? Or are they signs that the virus was trying to get in but my body was fighting it off?

Thanks for any insight you can provide 🙂

Michael

[Terri Warren]

I think this is just you being hyperaware of any body sensations that you might be having. I would recommend that you just observe for lesions only and if they are accompanied by influenza symptoms, then worry about it but for now, just enjoy the relationship. I am not concerned about the symptoms that you are describing here and remember that HSV 2 orally is very infrequently shed.

Terri

[michael2018]

Thanks, Terri. I’m definitely feeling like a hypochondriac lately. Yesterday morning, I felt something on my inner lip and it looked like a typical canker sore. I still started to worry though, especially when I read online that herpes outbreaks can sometimes look pretty mild and not necessarily like large fluid-filled lesions.

So, two more questions for you please (and a reminder that she has herpes-2 orally and genitally):

1) Do you have any advice on what I should be looking for to know if an oral lesion is actually herpes so I don’t keep getting worried every time I have a canker sore? Is it true, for example, that canker sores are always inside the mouth and herpes is almost always *outside* or *on* the mouth and accompanied by a flu-like temperature?

2) Regarding the genital herpes, should I be worried at all about naked spooning? And does your answer change if she’s aroused and releasing some arousal fluid?

Thanks again!

[Terri Warren]

1) Do you have any advice on what I should be looking for to know if an oral lesion is actually herpes so I don’t keep getting worried every time I have a canker sore? Is it true, for example, that canker sores are always inside the mouth and herpes is almost always *outside* or *on* the mouth and accompanied by a flu-like temperature?

Look for blisters on the lip.

2) Regarding the genital herpes, should I be worried at all about naked spooning? And does your answer change if she’s aroused and releasing some arousal fluid?

Naked spooning is fine – genital to genital rubbing however presents some risk

Terri

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