Genital HSV1 and Disclosing

[mjbn123Participant]

Hey Terri, glad I stumbled across this page, I have been joining multiple forums asking this question but I feel more confident getting an answer from someone with so much knowledge on the topic.


2 years ago I contracted genital HSV1 from someone who did oral on me. The symptoms were what I thought was a pimple on my labia/flu symptoms and a couple of days later I had a cluster of sores pop up on my bottom lip, so I knew at this point I was doomed with herpes. Went to clinic and got the official diagnosis.



My concern now is dating and disclosing. If I know my love interest already gets oral cold sores, do I need to even tell them about genital HSV1? From what I have read, this person already has antibodies, and it’s pretty much impossible that they would contract it genitally (especially being transmitted from female to a male)?



Am I safe to have unprotected sex with this person that already gets cold sores? What if I am shedding or having a mild outbreak and am unaware, are they still safe since they already have HSV1 virus? Basically what is the likelihood of me transmitting genital hsv1 to someone else’s genitals when they already get oral cold sores.



Side note: I am not on any suppressive therapy, I have valtrex in case of any outbreaks which are usually cold sores on my lip once or twice a year, or if I feel any of the leg nerve tingles, I will take valtrex for a couple of days, but I have not had any other sores in my genital region since that first occurrence, just occasional genital itching and the nerve tingles and oral sores.



I had a recent experience with a guy whom I really fell for, who I disclosed to. I initiated the conversation by asking if he ever gets cold sores, to which he answered yes, sometimes when he’s worn down. Then I told him about my situation. He got scared and we no longer talk. Basically if this is something I don’t need to tell people in a similar situation in the future, then I am not even going to disclose.

[mjbn123Participant]

edit: I contracted oral and genital HSV-1 (both new for me) during the encounter with this guy.

[Terri WarrenKeymaster]

Must you disclose your genital HSV 1 status? No, you don’t have to if you know you are having sex with someone who also has HSV 1. There is a very tiny risk you could infect them if they already have cold sore – I have only seen it once in 35 years of practice and heard about another case. So two in 35 years.

The concern is when you do disclose, if this is someone you really want to be connected to, will they resent you keeping this from them and worry about trust. This has to be an individual call.What would I do in your situation? I’m honestly not certain. I don’t think there is a perfect required answer in this situation, but I lean toward telling and explaining that they are EXTREMELY unlikely to get HSV 1 in a new location. Apparently that news is not always enough to reassure someone.

Terri

[mjbn123Participant]

Thank you for the advice! Can you touch base on this question regarding using protection or not in my situation:

Am I safe to have unprotected sex with this person that already gets cold sores? What if I am shedding or having a mild outbreak and am unaware, are they still [relatively] safe since they already have HSV1 virus? Basically what is the likelihood of me transmitting genital hsv1 to someone else’s genitals when they already get oral cold sores–without using protection in general and then without protection while unknowingly shedding/having an outbreak?

[Terri WarrenKeymaster]

So it would be extremely unlikely that they would acquire HSV 1 in a new location (genital). Is it impossible? No, I’ve seen it once and heard about it one other time online in 33 years – that’s it. but that’s such a tiny number, right?

Terri

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