Herpes is taking over all of my thoughts…help!

[scaredtodeath]

I have become obsessive over transmitting HSV-2 to my children. I have a five and seven year old and I find myself questioning the past seven years and things I have possibly done to infect them. It is literally all I think about day and night. I am constantly asking myself, how can they live with me eighteen years and not catch it. I feel like any day can be the day that they have a sore, and therefore dread even waking up in the morning.
If my husband performs oral sex on me and the kids drink after him the next day can he transmit the virus to them, if so would they have an outbreak on there mouth?
I used to take baths with them when they were young. This was before I even began researching herpes and I never thought there would be a risk. How much water does there have to be to be diluted enough to not transmit?
I am sure that over the past seven years we have shared a couple of towels. I am very careful about it now but can’t stop thinking about the past.
I find myself thinking every red mark or pimple looking thing is herpes. When I research herpes it shows many pictures of blisters in clusters, which I have never had. During my period I sometimes get a boil type thing on my buttocks that I cannot pop and it just goes away. Could this be herpes? I just don’t know how to identify if I am having an outbreak because I read so many different descriptions of herpes, and so I am constantly freaking out about everything.
I know you probably hear these concerns a lot and may think I am over the top. I just feel so bad that I may have been careless in the past because I thought it was only sexually transmitted. I love my children so much and we are a very affectionate family and I am afraid being that way may have really put them at risk. I appreciate any help or advice.

[Terri Warren]

First, you are not the only mother who worries about such things so don’t feel alone.
But second, I believe, as a person with a masters degree in counseling as well as nursing, that you may have obsessive compulsive disorder. Thinking about this day and night is really not great. I can answer your herpes questions here, but I strongly suggest that you obtain an evaluation for OCD from a qualified professional like a psychologist (Ph.D or Psy. D) wtih a focus on cognitive behavioral therapy.

HSV 2 is just a sexually transmitted infection, assuming you have been diagnosed with genital infection. It does come out of your mouth or your body and infect your children. If they had been infected at birth, you would have known it.

It’s hard to know if the thing on your butt is herpes or not, but if you get it again, you could have your health care provider evaluate it and tell you.

Terri

[scaredtodeath]

Thank you Terri, I know I sound insane and I should probably talk to a counselor to ease my thoughts.

You say if my children were born with it I would know it. Can you please tell me what I should have been looking for? When I had my daughter the doctor put me on Valtrex the last several weeks and I was infected with HSV-2 prior to being pregnant. When I went in to deliver she thought that vaginal would be okay so she induced labor. I never really progressed and then she broke my water and scraped my membranes, again nothing really happened. I may have dilated another inch if that. Within a couple hours I went for c-section. My daughter was born healthy as far as I knew. She did develop a rash that I thought was Erythema Toxicum and had a bit of jaundice. It developed a day after she was born and disappeared within a week or so on its own. Could this have been herpes and I didn’t know? The doctor never mentioned anything, but sadly our doctors where I live are not the best and fail to communicate often. From them on she hadn’t had anything that looked like that except she does get bouts of excema on her butt, back of elbows, and back of knees. It kind of sucks because she has really sensitive skin so it seems like I am always on edge thinking something is herpes.

And from my previous post regarding the baths I took with my children when they were younger, in your opinion this is no risk? Just out of curiosity how much water dilutes the virus so it is not contagious?

Thank you so much

[Terri Warren]

There is no risk from bathing with your children. the water is way too diluted and soap destroys the virus.
Babies with neonatal herpes are generally pretty sick little puppies. Herpes rashes normally develop in newborns about 2 weeks after birth. Honestly, if your baby had herpes at birth, you would so know it as would your doctor!

Terri

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