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Hello, and thank you so much for your help. It is very hard to find knowledgeable doctors in my area. Here is my situation. I am a female who contracted type 2 herpes from fiance about 9 years ago. I usually have outbreaks about 6-8 times per year almost always before my period starts.. I have been seeing someone now for about 6 months who does not have herpes. He is ok with what I have but we both do not want him to get it and have been extremely cautious about our sexual activity. I am taking acyclovir 400 bid which has helped tremendously with outbreaks hardly have any at all.. and I have been on birth control now for 2 months hoping it would make a difference in my hormones and help with stopping the outbreaks. My partner and I have had sexual intercourse 4 times all with condoms of course and absolutely no sign of outbreak on me or any prodrome symptoms. My concern is with him being able to get the virus from shedding since my outbreaks appear mainly on right buttock and sometimes inside buttock region next to anus. Is there any sexual positions that would be too risky or less risky..i.e..with him behind me is that too risky or would just missionary be better?? Can he get the virus from performing oral sex on me? and am I doing everything I possibly can to keep him safe? Should he not be naked against me such as when lying down (spooning)? I have been keeping covered. Do I shed in all genital areas even though never had outbreak or symptoms in vaginal area? Thank you for help.
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First let me ask you: has he actually been tested to determine that he is HSV 2 negative or does he just think he does not have herpes. If he has not been tested, that should be done.
Because people who have buttocks lesions also shed from the vagina, I don’t believe that any one sexual position is more or less risky than any other position.
He could get the virus from giving you oral sex but that is not common at all. If he did get it orally, he would basically be vaccinated against getting it genitally and it would look like a cold sore on his lip .
If you do not have an outbreak on your buttocks, spooning is absolutely fine. With an outbreak, I might suggest jammies.
Please let me know if you have other questions.
Terri
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Yes, he should be tested to determine if he is indeed uninfected. If he is positive, you won’t be able to know if it came from you or not. It can takes as long as four months to make antibody but as short as two weeks.
He will not get herpes from his genital rubbing against your buttocks if you have no lesions present.
Hormonal birth control can either makes herpes worse or better, it does vary between individuals. I think you are just going to have to wait and see how it is for you.
Once you have HSV 2 infection, the chances of you getting hSV 1 subsequently are extremely low, I mean EXTREMELY low.
Terri
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Sometimes they test for both and sometimes not. I don’t know what your doctor did. It would be unlikely to contract both at the same time from the same person.
At some point, I think you are going to need to let him decide to take a risk and deal with the consequences if there are any to deal with. It is common for the risk of spreading herpes to be more bothersome to the person with herpes rather than the person who does not have it.
Terri
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