HSV1 anxiety and need reassurance

[abc123]

Hi Terri,

First off I would like to thank you in advance for your help. I have been having so much anxiety about possibly having genital hsv1 so I am so grateful this forum exists. So the back story is that I am a 20 year old college student (19 at the time. This all happened 2 weeks before my 20th birthday) and went out with my friends 3 months ago (the second weekend in October). I have made out with my fair share of guys before but that’s as far as it ever went. I am not usually the type of person to be okay with casual sex and i’ve never really felt as though I was ready to take everything to the next level. However, this particular night I was not feeling very good about myself so when one of my friends had told me that her friends was interested and that I should “go for it” I allowed things to happen that I normally wouldn’t. Anyway long story short he ended up giving me oral (twice in the same night. In a span of maybe 20 -30 min (i’m not really sure). I new I had made a mistake and felt even worse afterward, but chalked it up to experience and moved on. However, two weeks after it all happened (I remember the time line specifically because it was in fact my birthday) my friend informed that last school year someone had been telling people that this guy had herpes. I immediately freaked. I have no idea if it was supposed to be genital or oral but seeing as how I never came into contact with his genitals hsv 2 was never the issue. I immediately started googling and freaked. I could have been asymptomatic and even though he didn’t have a cold sore at the time he could have still given it to me. I immediately started poking around and saw nothing out of the ordinary until I spotted a small bump. Totally freaked I called my mom and went home the very next weekend to see my GYN (three weeks after the incident). I told the nurse that I had spotted a bump and I describe it to her and express my fears. She told me it didn’t sound like typical herpes and then the doctor came in. I was so distraught and did not want to tell my story again so I merely lifted my legs and let her look. I figured I would express my concerns after. She did a very thorough exam and said she found nothing out of the ordinary. The bump I was worried about was normal tissue growth. She also said she would make a note of it so she could see if anything changes although she thought that was unlikely. Relief flooded through me and I didn’t see the point in telling her the story of my regrets because there was nothing there and I was fine (the nurse might have already told her anyway). Well that relief lasted about 2 days because the thought of being asymptomatic cropped back up in my mind. I called my mom and told her that I was still freaked out about it. She had me tell her all of my concerns and she would tell them to my GYN when she went to her well visit which was in a couple of days. When she expressed my concerns to the doctor she replied that I was extremely low risk because I had only received oral from one person and it was only one night. Second she had given me a thorough exam and found absolutely nothing that wasn’t normal. But, she said that I could come in again and me and her could chat so she could give me some reassurance. So a couple days before thanksgiving I went back in to talk to her. She explained the risks of contracting HSV 1 and 2 and said that if I had contracted ghsv1 I would have most likely noticed discomfort and had sores or signs of the virus by now. She said that I could always get a blood test but she did not think that it was necessary and I for some reason agreed even though I was still feeling quit a bit of anxiety. Fast forward to Dec. 22 which was my annual exam. She asked me how I was feeling about my previous anxiety and I said I was still feeling a little anxious. She reassured me that since it has been almost three months and I have had no signs or symptoms that I was very low risk and she seemed absolutely positive I had not contracted the virus genitally. Sorry for the long winded story but I often leave things out that I often beat myself up over later. Now to the facts. I understand that I m likely to already have contracted hsv1 orally (although I have never had a cold sore) and that since it has been three months and I have had not pervious blood tests for HSV that if it did come back positive I would not know when I contracted the virus or in what area of the body. The last time I “made out” with a guy was about 1 year and 4 moths ago. I remember because it was my first big college party and so everyone went pretty crazy. Not proud of this but I did make out with multiple guys at this party and a couple days later woke up feeling terribly sick (not much of a shocker). Anyway statistically speaking I am more likely to have it in my mouth but I feel as though if I get the blood test I can never be sure and it will only add to my anxiety further. I am honestly terrified to even try to be intimate with anybody. How can I tell them that I am clean and fine if I don’t truly believe it myself? So I guess my main questions are
1) Do you think that I should trust my GYN and drop it?
2) Are the odds of being asymptotic (based on all of the info. I also asked my friends who saw him afterward if he has had a cold sore since and they said that they didn’t notice anything). Although I don’t know if they even would
3) can a blood test be read to determine if I have had the infection for over a year? (specifically 1 year and 4 months as opposed to 3)?

I know that statistically majority of the population has the virus orally and that everyone is a risk. However, the stigma associated with genital hsv really scares me. Although genital hsv 1 is less likely to be given to a partner than from someone who has it orally I am still very concerned. Mostly because college students can be harsh (example being whoever spread this rumor, which the guy swears was just that, a rumor). Even though I have not shown any symptoms and am low risk I feel as though nobody with ever want to touch me if they new all of this. I completely understand that there are worse things and this is just something I personally have to get past because I do understand that I am overreacting some but I can’t help it. It is the way I am wired.

I apologize again that this is so long winded and possibly confusing I am just so stressed about this and don’t want to leave anything out.

[Terri Warren]

I actually do think you should trust your OB and drop it, yes. If you test positive for HSV 1, in your current state of mind, you are likely to believe that you have this genitally and start really worrying about that. I could be wrong about this. In my mind, I think it is unlikely that both of you would be asymptomatic at the same time. When an adult acquires HSV 1 genitally, they often have symptoms, especially if they are looking. Some are quite remarkable. Honestly, I think you would notice something if you had gotten infected given your state of mind. Most people who have herpes really do have symptoms, they just don’t attribute them to genital herpes.

So you have several things suggesting that you are not infected:
1) you have had NO symptoms
2) he had NO symptoms
3) you have no idea if he has herpes or not but you could ask him about it. If it is genital, no worries
4) it was a one day thing, not repeated exposure which would put you more at risk.

If you test and it is positive, you cannot know where you infection is, oral or genital. I think it would be best to skip it and I don’t often have that thought.

Terri

[abc123]

Thank you for your response. I think a lot of this anxiety comes more from my own insecurities than the probability of actually having the virus genitally. One more thing. This is most likely me being paranoid but a day or two after the encounter I did feel a bit of burning in my vagina. I felt it in what seems to be near the entrance. No burning during urination and does not hurt to touch. I attributed it to the fact that he did finger me and I was rather dry when it happened so I assumed it was because of that. It did not last for more than a couple days. It did come back about two weeks later which I assume is because that’s when I started poking around down there so I figure I was irritating it. It has recently come back though. It is slight and most of the time I notice it when I start thinking about the possibility of genital herpes so it is probably because I am paying close attention and due to my state of mind. I understand that a burning feeling is common in genital herpes but it is usually followed by visible bumps and then sores. I guess I only mention this because I want to be sure to address all my questions so I can finally move on and just forget about it. I also remember having noticed, before I heard about the possibility of herpes, that one day I noticed that I struggled for a little bit to get a steady stream of urine going although it did happen (right before I was trying kegel exercises right before I went to pee which could be the reason). I don’t recall it happened more after that day but I know retention of urine is also a side effect although I think that is because it is painful to urinate? Thanks again, a second opinion has helped me get more reassurance (hopefully this time enough).

[abc123]

Two weeks after the incident, when I was informed about the possible herpes for a couple days I stopped peeing a lot. I would wake up and not have to go for hours later. But when I did go it was not painful or hard to get out. It could have been that I wasn’t eating or drinking much from the nerves. From what I remember I did not have the feeling that I could not empty my bladder, I merely just didn’t have to. Other than these things there was nothing odd going on genitally. I also believe my OB checked by cervix when I went three weeks later. I’m not sure if she used that long silver rod thing I can’t really remember but I remember her feeling around and pretty far up with her finger and I did not feel any pain when she did that. Can you also explain to me why badder retention is a symptom of the herpes virus.

[Terri Warren]

Bladder retention can be (but not often is) a symptom of herpes because the virus infects the nerves and make them dysfunctional in some people for a little while. I don’t think your description fits the urinary retention that I normally see. I would agree that manual stimulation of the genital area may well be to blame for the irritation that you feel. It’s amazing, too, what our minds can do to trick us into focusing on minor sensations when we are worried about something, isn’t it?

Terri

[abc123]

Yes, I agree. Also the burning would not last as long as what I read an average herpes outbreak would last. So you still agree I really haven’t had any symptoms and should drop it? Also, when thinking logically, anyone who has ever received oral sex and never had a cold sore is in my position. I am freaking out about a virus that almost everyone (80-90% ) will have acquired by the time they are int their 60s and most will not know if it is genital or not.

[Terri Warren]

I agree that you should stop worrying about having HSV 1, yes.

Terri

[abc123]

I know that I am beating a dead horse at this point, but you said that most people with genital HSV 1 have initial symptoms. Are they mostly typical or is it common for them to be atypical? The burning is still worrying me a bit even though it could be due to really anything. Is burning with genital herpes usually due to the sores? Or is there another reason behind it. The thought that the burning could be an atypical symptom has crossed my mind because I am not really sure when it started or stopped and how long I had it for. I read that the initial symptoms are usually the most severe especially in a primary infection. But I did not start being vigilant in watching for symptoms until two weeks after the encounter.

[abc123]

there was also some redness on the inside of the inner labia, not on the bottom or the edges towards the inner part of it.

[Terri Warren]

I’m sorry but you ran out of questions a while back now. If you need to ask more questions you will have to renew your membership.

Terri

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