May 26, 2019 at 4:39 am #37280hazeleyes44Participant
Have you seen any long term relationships (5 yrs +) where one partner has HSV2 and has not transmitted it to their partner or is it just theoretical?
Using daily suppressive medication and condoms I would like to be able to tell future partners that there’s always a risk of transmission but it’s possible to never transmit it but I don’t know how accurate that is.
If condoms are removed from that scenario and just daily medication is used, I would assume it’s inevitable that transmission would happen. Years down the road in a good relationship this probably wouldn’t matter too much but trying to convince someone on a first or second date that it’s not a catastrophe is challenging.
May 27, 2019 at 7:27 am #37295Terri WarrenKeymaster
I have seen many many relationship that are very long term and HSV 2 has not been transmitted, yes, of course! The statement to partners you have developed it accurate.
Without condoms it is still possible not to transmit but less likely now.
I know it can be challenging to disclose this information but you’re doing the right thing and some will accept this while others will not.
June 22, 2019 at 11:36 am #38755hazeleyes44Participant
Just thought I would share the outcome of my recent disclosure. It was awful. Told him about my HSV2 status and he suggested I use a dating site for HSV+ people because they are more “my kind.” He didn’t say it maliciously but meant it would save me the disclosure talk and rejection.
I’ve been crying for the last few days because it’s always the same outcome. I have yet to meet someone who doesn’t look at you with pity and disgust when they find out.
I know you are going to say he was not the right one but how many times can you put yourself through this before it has a seriously damaging mental toll?
It’s really starting to irritate me when I read how common this is and how it’s just a minor skin condition when the stigma is so insane. It’s no fun living a lonely sexless life.
June 25, 2019 at 7:52 am #39117Terri WarrenKeymaster
That sounds pretty damn awful, I’m so sorry this happened to you. And I can see how you would be discouraged about telling future people.
I don’t really know anything about the relationship that you had with this person prior to your disclosure but if does help if the relationship has been built into something solid emotionally.
I don’t know how many people you’ve told so far or how many have “passed” based on your herpes but if it’s only been a couple, please continue to try. I’ve heard many success stories on this topic and have met with many couples where one is infected and the other isn’t where things have worked out very well.
I give you lots of credit for not taking the easy way out by not disclosing – you’ve got courage and strength. Please keep trying.
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