May be over reacting..?

[As89]

I had my ex boyfriend over last night and we fooled around. He gave me oral and he rubbed his penis on my vagina a couple times, we did NOT have sex. I woke up this morning to realize I had a small outbreak on the labium minus area. I’ve been freaking out that I gave it to him. Is the chance of that happening pretty slim, considering we did not have sex? I have not been on suppressive therapy and he did not have a condom on because we didn’t have sex and I wasn’t aware I had an outbreak?

[Terri Warren]

Hmmmm. The contact with your labia sounds pretty minimal but I don’t have a way to exactly assess that. If he doesn’t have any symptoms within 2-10 days, I think it is unlikely that he acquired herpes from you. Are you certain he doesn’t have it already? Did you have it when he was your active boyfriend? Has he actually been tested to know he doesn’t have it? Does he know you have it?

Terri

[As89]

I didn’t have any kind of symptoms until about a month after we broke up and we never used protection during our 2 year relationship and had sex everyday, so I doubt I got it from him. I had sex with a few different people after him, without protection (the thought of that now, makes me cringe- I just finished taking microbiology) and then bam this shows up. I have not told him yet, which is why I will not have sex with him. I’ve finally started feeling better about myself since the diagnosis so I’m
Working my way to telling him. I do not think he has been tested, so not sure if he has it or not. I hate having this talk, just because of the reaction and the fact that I don’t want people to think “she’s the girl with herpes.”

[Terri Warren]

I completely understand. And if you think your contact was pretty minimal, I don’t think you have to disclose at this point. If you are going to have sex with him though, you’ll need to have the dreaded talk. And I get your fears about that – totally get it. Try to think of it is as character building – having to a hard thing with grace and confidence. Remember – you are more than a person with herpes!!
Terri

[As89]

Thank you for taking time out of your day to answer my questions. I will absolutely tell him if we proceed into sex. Have a great night!

[Terri Warren]

Thanks!

Terri

• This reply was modified 6 years, 5 months ago by Terri Warren.
• This reply was modified 6 years, 5 months ago by Terri Warren.

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