February 3, 2015 at 8:04 pm #3449
I was diagnosed with herpes 13 years ago and I assume it’s HSV-2, but am not sure. My husband of 1.5 years knew this, but after talking to a doctor, he is petrified that he will get it from me and wants a divorce. We have always had unprotected sex (after the first couple of times), but he is in the military, so our sexual encounters were more or less 2-3 times a month at most. He just returned from a year long overseas tour and we now live together. We are very sexually attracted to one another and he would love if we made love everyday. My outbreaks are rare ( 1-2 times a year), and I have symptoms when I know I am about to have an outbreak. The lesion is one pimple/blister in the same spot every single time I have an outbreak and is on the outside of my vagina (about 3 inches above). Will covering that spot up during sex (even when no outbreak/symptoms are present) prevent the spread, and if his penis does not touch the area/blister, can he still get HSV-2 from me? Because my outbreak is outside my vagina, I did not think he could catch it unless his penis came into contact with the blister and he had an open sore.
February 3, 2015 at 9:13 pm #3454
This is a very unfortunate situation for both of you, but particularly you. Damn! You must be very disappointed.
So first things first. Has he actually been tested to know if he has HSV 1 and/or HSV 2? This is NOT traditionally done in the military so don’t let that dissuade you from asking him. I’ve been asked this question many times before.
Also, you need to know if you have HSV 1 or 2. You both need a type specific IgG antibody test. You can order you own tests on the internet if you wish.
Do you take daily antiviral medicine? If not, I would strongly suggest that. I can reduce transmission by almost half over not using any medicine.
No matter where the actual lesion is, you can shed virus from the vagina at any time, with or without symptoms. Covering the lesion won’t help.
Eighty percent of those infected with HSV 2 don’t know it so him no having symptoms is not definitive. Also, you could have HSV 1 genitally. Has he ever had a cold sore? If yes, then he has HSV 1.
I hope you will both get further testing to get clear about who has what so you are at least dealing with real facts rather than guesses.
Please ask me more questions if you have them
February 3, 2015 at 9:45 pm #3460
He was recently tested while he was in Korea after he answered some health screening tests. He said that he came up negative in everything. I was first diagnosed after having an outbreak, but at the time thought herpes in or around your vagina was always genital herpes, nor I was I told that there even was a difference. If I have HSV-1 and he does not, is there still a chance that he can get HSV-2 from me and potentially have outbreaks on his penis?
February 3, 2015 at 10:56 pm #3462
I have little confidence in a test done in Korea, honestly. If you have HSV 1 genitally he cannot get HSV 2 from you. The virus stays it’s same type regardless of its location. HSV 1 genitally recurs infrequently. Has your husband or you ever had a cold sore on your lips?
This is your marriage you are talking about!! I think it is definitely worth both of you doing the appropriate testing in an organized fashion. I hope you will because right now, you don’t know exactly what is going on here.
February 3, 2015 at 11:17 pm #3464
Thank you. He said he was tested through the medical facility on base (Air Force). I go in on Thursday to get tested for HSV-1 and 2. Yes, this is our marriage and I love him to death, but if I have HSV-2 and he has nothing (which I trust that he is telling the truth with his texts), I’m at a standstill. He loves intimacy – sexual intimacy with me and does not want to use protection with his wife, which I understand. I need to find a doctor/therapist in Las Vegas who specializes in HSV-1 and 2 specifically who can calm his fears. I’ve had 4 sexual partners since finding out 13 years ago and have never infected any of them. He just believes it’ll be his luck that he gets infected. I am always fully aware when I am about to have an outbreak, but can a person shed the virus and never end up having an outbreak? He has agreed to go with me to talk to someone, but only to help me understand and move on from his decision. I need to find someone who can give him a clearer understanding of the situation. Any suggestions?
February 3, 2015 at 11:22 pm #3465
Still, I don’t trust it. It could be right, but we don’t really know if they tested him for HSV 1 also, and I just don’ think herpes is the military’s strength. I would be happy to do a phone consultation with both of you. He needs to talk about his fears with someone who knows the truth about herpes. One in four women between 14 and 49 in the US have HSV 2 and 56% have HSV 1. He could move on from you and find someone who swears they don’t have herpes but because 80% of those infected don’t know, he could get infected anyway. And what’s so awful about having herpes anyway? I think he has some misperceptions.
When you go to be tested, remember that you want HSV 1 and 2 IgG type specific antibody testing – NOTHING ELSE.
Yes, you can shed virus without symptoms.
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