› Forums › Herpes Questions › Oral sex during possible prodrome
- This topic has 3 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 3 months ago by Terri Warren.
December 8, 2015 at 6:15 am #10883BootstrapsParticipant
3 days ago, my girlfriend of a few months spent the night at my place and we had sex, that night and the next morning I performed oral sex before 8am. I have hsv1 and she is aware of it. We have engaged in such activity before. First o.b. was 3 years ago, 1 recurrence a year later, latent for the last 2 years. Since then, I’ve had partners who couldn’t remember having a cold sore, and had performed oral on them frequently for months without incident.
She left, and somewhere between 10am-12pm I noticed my lip felt a little swollen. Looking in the mirror, i didn’t note anything like abrasions or blisters. I thought I might have bit it, or it was bit during kissing. I went out for the day and when I came back perhaps 7 hours later, I noticed yellow flat crater-shaped ulcers on my lower lip, where I had felt the swelling occur. I hoped it was a bite mark as i had not experienced any red clusters of blisters. Only the initial swelling sensation followed by ulcers hours later [which I thought took at least a few days and after forming blisters.] The next morning [yesterday] it seemed apparent it was a cold sore
My concern is that i was in prodrome or in a shedding timeframe and I hadn’t noticed yet when i performed oral sex on my girlfriend, which was foreplay and was probably for a few mins, but there was contact with my lips. She can’t recall ever having a cold sore. How concerned should I be? When I contracted this my ex was getting her first outbreak and didn’t know she had it or at least didn’t recognize the symptoms. I’m hoping that because this is a recurrence the shedding will not be as intense as my ex’s. Is there any information of the risk for prodrome or only a few hours before prodromal phase? If it was early prodrome, without any fissures, what are the odds like? I read one forum with a similar scenario and it appeared there was no transmission and maybe the prodrome started after the oral sex due to minor trauma. I’m hoping we’ll be that lucky. Thanks.
December 8, 2015 at 6:46 am #10884Terri WarrenKeymaster
I think you should be concerned. And I think if you’ve not yet discussed this with her, about getting a cold sore, you should now. If she gets any symptoms including those of a urinary tract infection or what she think is a yeast infection, she should be evaluated immediately. It might also be worth her getting a herpes antibody test to find out if she might already be infected with HSV 1. Transmission in this situation is not certain at all but you both should be on alert for symptoms for the next couple of weeks. If they arise, she should be seen right away.
December 8, 2015 at 11:55 am #10898BootstrapsParticipant
Sheesh. I almost feel that mentioning it would make the typical “my bf told me, and of course the next day…” story, like I’m temptin the fates. I will though and when i do, I’ll mention the blood test. Hopefully that will give some breathing room, though I realize how ironic it is to wish infection to prevent it and the hypocrisy/stigma of having it orally vs genitally.
It’s unfair as she lives far enough away I only see her on average two weekends a month and to get it immediately after seeing her after not having anything for 2 years. It could have came at any other time and I’d be ok. I really hate having to wait for her to be in pain to find out. This would really ruin her holiday plans. While I’m not looking to have kids, she is and that’s already been a concern for our relationship, and I’d hate for her to deal with the pregnancy concerns. I don’t want to be the biggest mistake of her life. I’ve taken up smoking again and I dropped my exercise routine because I’ve been stressed. I can’t get my mind off of it. The cold sore is much better today, it seems like it’ll be gone soon, so it seems like a relatively minor occurrence but the timing really angers me. Does a shorter o.b. suggest less intense shedding? I’m really hoping that this passes without incident.
Do you have any stats or experiences with people, posts to these fotums who have shared my same concerns where they dodged the bullet? Anything that might let me breathe or think that its not as likely as I fear it might be? I understand I should be concerned, but maybe this happens often without transmission? Are there cases that seemed certain, like during open sores, where there was no transmission?
The CDC says on average the first o.b. happens 4 days after with a range of 2-12 days. Does that sound right with your experiences? I could feel relief after a week, then thank the powers that be after 2. I might save my last comment to let people know the conclusion. I know I’d have liked to see one.
December 12, 2015 at 7:19 am #10910Terri WarrenKeymaster
Unfortunately, shorter outbreak does not translate into less shedding at the beginning.
I honestly don’t have any stats about this that would be helpful except this one which might be very helpful: at least 56% of the US Population between 14 and 49 have HSV 1 and she may well be one of them in which case there is no risk. Even if she has never had a cold sore, she can be infected – 70% of those with HSV 1 don’t have symptoms that they recognize.
Yes, the average time from first infection to first outbreak (if one is going to occur) is 5.5 days with the range being as you described.
You know this, but you smoking is not going to reduce the risk of her getting an outbreak – I think we have a situation of two problems for the price of one here, do you agree?
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