Please Help…Very scared for my newborn baby

[Charlie91]

Hi Terri,
I’ve gotten cold sores for years.I gave birth 8 wks ago and got one immediately after. After this I started oral valaciclovir for the first time ever to suppress them. First took 500mg 1x/day, since last week I’m on 500mg 2x/day. Since giving birth I felt genital burning when showering. Saw the gyno 2wks ago and she said the tear from giving birth healed fine but saw dryness probably due to breastfeeding. 2 days ago when showering I felt burning again so had a look with a mirror. I saw superficial tears/cuts/cracks between inner and outer labia (where they “meet”,the fold is) on both sides and redness between the 2 inner labia. Maybe the burning I’ve been feeling when showering were these cracks and not the tear from birthing. Gyno only looked at this tear so could’ve missed the cracks between the labia. When reading about risks for my newborn if she would get my OHSV,I read about genital HSV and some not getting sores but getting paper cuts or only redness. I am now scared that the cracks/redness could be HSV. Never had genital lesions in the past, got these tears for the first time now since giving birth. I’m married and monogamous for 10y, hubby never had genital/oral lesions. Last intercourse was july’21,so 5,5 months ago. Yesterday the GP took a look and said it’s dryness/irritation, not HSV. I checked again with mirror and the cracks are almost gone. I feel like they would reappear if I’d pull the labia(feels very dry). It still burns when showering, sometimes peeing. Does this sound like a first GHSV outbreak giving the circumstances (no sex in 5,5 months,same partner for 10y,just started taking valaciclovir,no sores,cracks almost healed in 2days) could it just be due to drynes?
IF it’s GHSV, could I’ve gotten whitlow when touching the area when looking at it? I have VERY dry hands with bleeding cracks (last sex with hubby july’21, so this was last time I could’ve gotten GHSV). Washed hands with soap after! SO SCARED to infect my baby and her dying

[Charlie91]

A little update: went back to the gyno today and she looked at my genitals. The “cracks” were already gone (I first noticed them on 3 days ago when looking with mirror but they could have been there longer since I had burning feeling on and off for a few weeks). Showed her pictures of the cracks and she did not think it is HSV. She saw redness and said it is probably due to breastfeeding (said it impacts hormones and puts me in a menopauzelike condition which causes the dryness and irritation). In the shower today burning was only mild. I do get some shooting like pains on the inside of my vagina (or maybe I am just focusing to much on everything I feel). I am still very worried it could be HSV, but wanted to provide you with extra information to hopefully get a good image of what is going on.

My main worry is it being HSV and that I could have gotten whitlow when touching and examinating the area and then infecting my newborn with my hands. As I said I did have open cracks on my hand when touching (but there were no sores, only the “cut”-like irritation). There was some vaginal fluid in my fingers after and I washed it of with soap after (I did touch and look for a while with the mirror so did not wash hands immediately).

If it would be HSV, and this is my first outbreak, would autoinoculation and getting whitlow be a worry? Since last sex was more than 5 months ago. I read you said it is established after 4 months, but would it be 4 months after last sexual encounter or 4months after first outbreak?

If I did catch whitlow, would symptoms show up whitin 10 days? Even when taking the valaciclovir for my recurrent cold sores?

I read you said there won’t by asymptomatic shedding from fingers if I contracted whitlow. Since I get breaks and bleeding cracks on.my hands all the time and have eczema, could I be asymptomaticly shedding though these breaks and thinner skin and infect my baby in this way?

I am so scared i feel like I might loose my baby girl…

[Terri Warren]

You are NOT going to lose your baby girl!
If you have had cold sores for years, I have no concerns that you now have this genitally or on your hands, zero concern. It is common for new moms to have these worries but I’ve never ever seen a new mom infect a baby after birth with their hands. Never

Terri

[Charlie91]

Hi Terri, thank you for your reassurance, it means a lot. Just to help put my mind at ease, could you answer these few questions?
1. To be clear: from what I described, you don’t think I have HSV genitally?
2. If it hypothetically would be HSV, and last intercourse was more than 5 months ago (same partner for 10 years but last intercourse more than 5 months ago so this would be the last possible chance he could have infected me) would it be established enough by now to not cause autoinoculation?
3. If someone would have whitlow but no obvious outbreak (for example on suppressive valaciclovir) and this person had very damaged hands and cracks in skin on fingers and hands, could he transfer the virus from these cracks on hands to another person?
4. Knowing everything I mentioned above, do you think it is unnecessary to get tested? I think this would only cause more stress…
I hope your answers can finally ease my mind, I feel like I haven’t been able to enjoy my baby…
Thanks in advance

[Charlie91]

Dear Terri, Rereading your answer I think you maybe misunderstood my question. I am not worried that my oral hsv1 would have transferred to my genitals. I am worried this could be a new infection with HSV2. Giving the complaints I have:
– burning when showering, redness
– location of these cracks/superficial cuts being in the “fold” where inner and outer labia “meet” and them almost healing in two days. No sores whatsoever.
– genital dryness
AND considering circumstances:
– no sex since July 21 (5,5 months)
– same partner for 10y in monogamous marriage
-just started taking valaciclovir for my OHSV1 (would it be weird to get the first genital OB now when in just started these meds?)
-just gave birth 8 weeks ago + breastfeeding so hormonal changes could also be the cause (that’s what my gyno thinks)
I admit I would have never thought this could be HSV2 before, it’s because I read about these “paper cuts” online and redness possibly being the only symptoms.

To summarize: my worry is my husband could be a asymptomatic carrier of HSV2 for all these 11 + years and has just infected me during our last intercouse in July. Again, giving all the circumstances I described, does this sound like a possibility to you?

And IF this would be true and I got infected 5.5 months ago but am just now experiencing the first outbreak, would the infection already be established for me not to have caused autoinoculation to my hands when I examined the area the last few days with my very dry hands with open cracks? I read you said it would be established after 4 months, would this be for months after the last possible exposure (intercourse I had with my husband 5.5 months ago) or is it 4 months after the first symptoms/outbreak now(then I could have autoinoculated and contracted whitlow?)

Would you be so kind to reread my posts and give me your thoughts and answer the 4 questions in previous post? I worry you might have misunderstood. So sorry for asking but I am so scared for my baby

[Terri Warren]

1. To be clear: from what I described, you don’t think I have HSV genitally?
You mean new HSV 2? I suppose that is possible. I have no idea about the sexual history of your partner to give you an opinion. Are you worried about their fidelity to you sexually?

2. If it hypothetically would be HSV, and last intercourse was more than 5 months ago (same partner for 10 years but last intercourse more than 5 months ago so this would be the last possible chance he could have infected me) would it be established enough by now to not cause autoinoculation?
Yes

3. If someone would have whitlow but no obvious outbreak (for example on suppressive valaciclovir) and this person had very damaged hands and cracks in skin on fingers and hands, could he transfer the virus from these cracks on hands to another person?
No. If you have been infected 5 months ago, the infection would be well established genitally and would be extremely unlikely to autoinoculate yourself with HSV 2 on your hands.

4. Knowing everything I mentioned above, do you think it is unnecessary to get tested? I think this would only cause more stress…
I’m not sure why you think you might have new HSV 2, but it sounds like your symptoms were diagnosed by your GYN as not related to HSV

Terri

[Charlie91]

Hi Terri, I have a few short questions about possible transmission of HSV. I don’t know if I have to buy additional questions for this, if needed I will.

1. I have oral HSV, I had a cut on my finger and got some of blood from this cut on my baby’s face and lip when whiping her face. Is this a risk?

2. Could I contract HSV2 from touching a used towel from an infected person? If I touched the towel with my very dry and cracked hands (open cracks) could i get whitlow

3. If someone with genital HSV2 touched his genitals or mastrubated and then touched a doorknob/lightswitch or other object after, and few minutes later I touch the doorknob or light switch with my hands full of oozing cracks, could i get withlow this way?

4. Could I get withlow from touching an infected person’s underwear with my cracked hands?

5. Could I get withlow from touching a bed sheet or paper towel used by an HSV2 infected person to whipe of genital fluids after mastrubating?

6. When no coldsore is present, can my kids get infected when accidentally touching my mouth or rubbing their face against my cheek?

7. Can I infect my kids with saliva droplets when talking while holding them (no coldsore present)?

8 could I get HSV2 from a toilet seat in a public bathroom or using a towel from a public bathroom?

Thanks a lot….

[Charlie91]

9. If my 2.5 month old does get infected with Hsv, is she likely to die from the infection?

Thanks… I am so so scared

[Charlie91]

Hi Terry,
I just bought additional questions for you to answer the 9 short questions above and one additional.

10. 2 days ago I cut my 2 month old baby’s fingernails and accidentally cut her pinky finger with the nail clipper. It was just a minor cut but did bleed a little. Now, 2 days later, there is a little scab over the cut. Today my step-father kissed her hand where the little stabbed over cut is. My step-father has a history of coldsores but had no signs of one right now and told me he did not have one for at least a couple of years. It was just one kiss on her little hand, not multiple kisses or prolonged kissing ofcourse. After this I washed my baby’s hand with water and soap.
What If my step-father would be asymptomaticly shedding from his lips?
I am very scared since she is just over 2 months old and infection could be fatal. Should I worry?

Could you please help me out with these 10 questions about transmission?
I am very very scared for my baby’s health 🙁

You knowledge would help me out a lot

[Terri Warren]

1. I have oral HSV, I had a cut on my finger and got some of blood from this cut on my baby’s face and lip when whiping her face. Is this a risk?
No

2. Could I contract HSV2 from touching a used towel from an infected person? If I touched the towel with my very dry and cracked hands (open cracks) could i get whitlow
No

3. If someone with genital HSV2 touched his genitals or mastrubated and then touched a doorknob/lightswitch or other object after, and few minutes later I touch the doorknob or light switch with my hands full of oozing cracks, could i get withlow this way?
no

4. Could I get withlow from touching an infected person’s underwear with my cracked hands?
no

5. Could I get withlow from touching a bed sheet or paper towel used by an HSV2 infected person to whipe of genital fluids after mastrubating?
no

6. When no coldsore is present, can my kids get infected when accidentally touching my mouth or rubbing their face against my cheek?
no

7. Can I infect my kids with saliva droplets when talking while holding them (no coldsore present)?
no

8 could I get HSV2 from a toilet seat in a public bathroom or using a towel from a public bathroom?
no

If my 2.5 month old does get infected with Hsv, is she likely to die from the infection?
no likely, no.

10. 2 days ago I cut my 2 month old baby’s fingernails and accidentally cut her pinky finger with the nail clipper. It was just a minor cut but did bleed a little. Now, 2 days later, there is a little scab over the cut. Today my step-father kissed her hand where the little stabbed over cut is. My step-father has a history of coldsores but had no signs of one right now and told me he did not have one for at least a couple of years. It was just one kiss on her little hand, not multiple kisses or prolonged kissing ofcourse. After this I washed my baby’s hand with water and soap.
What If my step-father would be asymptomaticly shedding from his lips?
I am very scared since she is just over 2 months old and infection could be fatal. Should I worry?
no

Could you please help me out with these 10 questions about transmission?
Done.

You are way overestimating the risk of herpes transmission and I think you know that but perhaps just need more reassurance. I hope I’ve given that to you.

Terri

[Charlie91]

Hi Terri,
I believe I have some questions left.
My life is still consumed by worries about transmitting hsv to my children.
I am a nurse so my hands are always very dry, sore and full of open cracks. I suffer from eczema and dermatitis due to frequent washing and sanitizing. I am very scared my hand are now an open entry for contracting whitlow. I have hsv 1 orally but scared I might contract hsv2 on my hands and infect my children this way. Could you please tell me if these situations pose any risk.
1. Touching any objects with my cracked hands (doorknobs, a sofa, sheets,..) after it was touched by a hsv2 positive person who first touched his genitals.
2. Touching a toiletseat, flush, bathroomsink with my cracked hands
3. Touching a trash can with my cracked hands after an hsv2 positive person put his toilet paper or a paper towel that he used to clean up after mastrubating in that thrash can.
4. How long could the virus survive on surfaces like doorknobs, sheets, a sofa,…
5. Touching a towel used by a hsv2 positive person with my cracked hands
6. I worry about my 7 month old daughter getting hsv. I am scared of letting people holding her or myself infecting her when she touches my mouth (no sore present)
6. I am scared I could get whitlow and then infect her. Would she die from the infection at the age of 7 months?
7. If someone touches his coldsore and then would touch a changing mat and I put my baby down on it a few moments after, does this pose a risk?
8. Can I share drinks with my toddler or eat from the same plate/share cuttlery with him when I have no coldsore present (I do get them few times a year)
9. My toddler sometimes kisses me on the mouth (very quickly so I don’t always get te chance to turn my head). Is this big risk for him since I carry the virus orally?

Thanks for your answers. I feel like it is ruining my life as a mama 🙁

[Terri Warren]

I’m so sorry to hear that you are still struggling with this concern. If you’ve read much of this forum, you will see that your concerns are quite common, particularly among new moms.

1. Touching any objects with my cracked hands (doorknobs, a sofa, sheets,..) after it was touched by a hsv2 positive person who first touched his genitals.
I don’t really understand, if you have this concern about him or you having HSV 2, why you don’t test and see if you have it? This just doesn’t make sense to me that you worry so much about this but won’t test?

2. Touching a toiletseat, flush, bathroomsink with my cracked hands
No risk

3. Touching a trash can with my cracked hands after an hsv2 positive person put his toilet paper or a paper towel that he used to clean up after mastrubating in that thrash can.
No risk
4. How long could the virus survive on surfaces like doorknobs, sheets, a sofa,…
a very short time and there is likely not enough virus to infect someone else from these items anyway

5. Touching a towel used by a hsv2 positive person with my cracked hands
Very unlikely

6. I worry about my 7 month old daughter getting hsv. I am scared of letting people holding her or myself infecting her when she touches my mouth (no sore present)
This is an irrational concern. Surely, if someone has an active cold sore, I would limit their contact with your daughter but otherwise, I think you should proceed as normal. And she isn’t going to get HSV 1 from you when you are asymptomatic by touching your lip, no.

6. I am scared I could get whitlow and then infect her. Would she die from the infection at the age of 7 months?
NO!

7. If someone touches his coldsore and then would touch a changing mat and I put my baby down on it a few moments after, does this pose a risk?
no
8. Can I share drinks with my toddler or eat from the same plate/share cuttlery with him when I have no coldsore present (I do get them few times a year)
Yes
9. My toddler sometimes kisses me on the mouth (very quickly so I don’t always get te chance to turn my head). Is this big risk for him since I carry the virus orally?
No.

Are you getting therapy for these concerns? They really don’t pose a risk to your children but they do pose a risk to your future mental health, most certainly.

Terri

[Charlie91]

Hi again,

My husband woke up today with a massive coldsore. I also carry HSV1 orally and am terrified of passing it on to my 2 year old son and my 10 month old daughter. My husband does not really share this fear so i feel he is not verry carefull (he does touch the sore sometimes and forgets to Wash his hands afterwards). We agreed he would try to not let our 2 year old touch his month and not holding or caring for our 10 month old while the active outbreak is there. Still i am very anxieus my baby might get infected through stuff my husband has touched. Is this a justified fear or does there have to be skin to skin contact with my husband fory baby to get infected? She puts everything in her mounth at this age..
Like could it transfer after my husband touches the sore and than touching the sofa/the table/a piece of toys/a bottle/the tv remote control/…… and my baby putting it in her month a few moments later?
Can i still put her feeding bottles is the dishwasher or should I sterilize them?

And a big question: if she would get infected at 10 months of age, would she be severely ill and could she die?

So so so so scared to lose her 🙁

Thanks a lot for answering 

[Terri Warren]

it takes direct contact to transfer virus from your husband to your child.
You asked if your child would be severely ill if they acquired HSV 1 at 10 months. The answer is likely not. I ran this question earlier by an expert in neonatal herpes and he indicated the child would be OK if they acquired HSV at 10 months.

You can put her bottles in the dishwasher, that’s fine for cleaning
Do you think your husband would consider going on suppression while your baby is still young, this seems to worry you so greatly?

Terri

[Charlie91]

Dear Terri,

He does not want to go on Can you tell me if suppression since he only gets them once or twice a year. I do also get cold sores and I am on suppression.
I worry a lot about infecting my children while asymptomatic. Can you tell me if these scenarios pose a risk of transmission when me and my husband might be asymptonatic shedding?
1. My kids touching the bathroom sink where me andy husband Brush our teeth
2. My kids toothbrushes touching our toothbrushes in the toothbrusholder
3. My kids eating from the same plate, sharing a cup or cuttlery
4. Touching my kids after i have touched my mouth with no sore present
5. Giving my kids a kiss on the cheek when wearing lipbalm
6. Do I need to wash my hand everytime I have touched my month before touching my kids?
7. I am afraid of letting them touch the kitchen sink because there were dirty dishes in there which have saliva on them
8. Do i need to wash my hand after brushing my teeth? Or after applying lipbalm?

I feel like i always have to watch out what they are touching and i am constanly Washing my hands…

I am so afraid of infecting them while shedding…

Thanks a lot for what you do

Charlotte

[Terri Warren]

He does not want to go on Can you tell me if suppression since he only gets them once or twice a year. I do also get cold sores and I am on suppression.

I would say that most people who get outbreaks only one or twice a year do NOT go on suppression.

I worry a lot about infecting my children while asymptomatic. Can you tell me if these scenarios pose a risk of transmission when me and my husband might be asymptonatic shedding?
1. My kids touching the bathroom sink where me andy husband Brush our teeth
no risk
2. My kids toothbrushes touching our toothbrushes in the toothbrusholder
no risk
3. My kids eating from the same plate, sharing a cup or cutlery
probably no risk
4. Touching my kids after i have touched my mouth with no sore present
no risk
5. Giving my kids a kiss on the cheek when wearing lipbalm
no risk
6. Do I need to wash my hand everytime I have touched my month before touching my kids?
nope
7. I am afraid of letting them touch the kitchen sink because there were dirty dishes in there which have saliva on them
that’s over the top and totally not necessary. Totally over the top worry
8. Do i need to wash my hand after brushing my teeth? Or after applying lipbalm?
you do not

I feel like i always have to watch out what they are touching and i am constanly Washing my hands…
You are developing OCD about this. I hope you will listen to what I’m telling you and try to live without all these interventions that you are doing. If you cannot, I would strongly suggest that you do some cognitive behavior therapy to deal with this. REally. It’s better for your family.

I am so afraid of infecting them while shedding…

Terri

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