Please translate my report into English…

[brokenhearted]

Hello, I got a call today from my doctor saying I tested positive for both 1 and 2. However, now that I have gotten a copy of the report, it does not seem to say definitively either positive or negative.

I recently met a new guy after being single (and celibate) for two years since my divorce, and we both wanted to get tested. I was negative for everything except hsv. After hearing my results for hsv, my new guy says he just wants to be friends. I am brokenhearted and hoping for good news. I’ve attached an image showing the results.

Thank you for being there.

Feeling hopeful…

[Terri Warren]

Good morning,
Both of your HSV tests are both certainly positive. The cutoff value for when we want to confirm the testing is 3.5 and as you can see, your HSV 2 is above 4. I will say that in the past year I have had three patients with value above 4.0 that have NOT confirmed when tested by western blot, the gold standard for herpes testing. Recently, I had a person with a 5.4 NOT confirm with western blot. That is highly unusual, however. Have you had any symptoms of genital herpes? A person who is HSV 1 positive and then acquires HSV 2 is less likely to develop symptoms genitally.
I”m so sorry that you first experience with telling someone about herpes went so poorly. We all bring some things to the table in relationships that aren’t terrific; I’m sure he has some too, they just aren’t as “out” there immediately, but they are there! Please don’t get too discouraged as I think he is the exception rather than the rule.

You may be outside the US since the title of your post is about translation, but if you want to do a western blot just to be sure, let me know.

Terri

[brokenhearted]

I was married for 17 years, and neither of us had any genital symptoms. However, two years before we divorced, be was unfaithful.

I had shingles about five years ago, then the shingles vaccine (I’m 61). Could that virus effect the results?

I have had fever blisters on my lip a couple times a year for about half my life, so hsv 1 was not a surprise, but he tested positive for that, too. He said hsv 2 is a deal breaker, but he’ll wait for the western blot before deciding for sure.

Thank you for the speedy response, and your kind words. I have called U of W and ordered the western blot kit.

[Terri Warren]

We can also order the western blot for you to be drawn at a Quest lab where you live. Either way works.
Where was your shingles outbreak? The vaccine nor the virus would make your HSV 2 test appear so positive.
So I want you to ask yourself this question: do you really want to be with someone for the long term who cannot accept a minor health problem like genital herpes? Maybe your relationship is too early for him to know he feels strongly enough about you to make that leap, but to close the door completely? Really? To me, that would set off alarm bells, honestly.

Terri

[brokenhearted]

My shingles was from the center of my back to the center of my front, like typically, plus I get slight nerve pain frequently.

He has agreed to read your booklet, so he might change his mind. Plus, the western blot might bring good news. We will be seeing each other in the meanwhile.

Thank you very much for the info!

[Terri Warren]

You are most welcome!

Terri

[brokenhearted]

……Are there any other physical barriers that cover more area of the body than regular condoms and female condoms do? It seems to me that there should be additional physical barriers for safe sex, such as condoms as part of latex underpants or a sheet of latex with a built in condom. (brainstorming). My guy doesn’t trust either regular condoms or female condoms to protect from herpes. It’s more than a week till I should hear about my western blot, and I want to know all available options if it’s bad news……

……My guy seems to care for me, and doesn’t seem to really want to be “just friends”, after all, but this situation is making everything very awkward. We have a great deal in common, and are still seeing each other, and having fun, but this is a big let down for both of us……

[Terri Warren]

Some men chose to wear underwear when having sex with a woman with herpes. And the female condom is more protective than the male condom. If you are on suppressive therapy and use a condom, the chances are so low that you will infect him – probably a 1-2 % chance per year, with having sex twice a week. more sex, more risk.

I hope he makes up his mind quickly about this so you are not left in suspense over this situation. So if he says no, he doesn’t want to take the risk, 25% of women between 14-49 in the US has HSV 2 and a larger percentage over the age of 49. So if he decides to let this criteria figure into his choice of partners over the age of 60 and tests them all, he could be sexless for a while! I really really disagree with his position. Herpes is such a small thing in the big picture of life, especially at this age! To find someone you are compatible with and care for and fit well with – how hard is that?? Oh well, I’ll get off my bandwagon and shut up.

Also, you have used up all your questions and then one extra. If you have more, you can renew your subscription.

Terri

[brokenhearted]

OOPS! Sorry about the extra question!

Thank you very much! I really appreciate you being there for all of us.

[Terri Warren]

You’re welcome.

Terri

[brokenhearted]

Hi Terri. I just renewed my subscription.

How common are false negatives for hsv 2? Would it be a good idea for him to get a western blot if I come back positive for 2? How much do they cost at the lab you mention? We both tested positive for 1, but he hasn’t had symtoms, just as I havent had symptoms for 2. I still have about a week before I’ll get my western blot results.

Thank you.

[brokenhearted]

I’m reading your book — In “Family of Eight” you say that hsv 1 causes “Oral (cold sores) and genetal herpes….”. My boyfriend has hsv 1, and has not had symptoms that he knows of. How much more risk for symptoms for him would be added if he contracted hsv 2?

Thank you.

[Terri Warren]

False negatives for HSV 2 are not common – the screening test misses about 3 out of 100 infections. The western blot is around $250 which includes the consultation with our office.

I’m not sure whose book ‘Family of eight’ is but not mine. HSV 1, yes, can cause cold sores and genital herpes. People can transmit virus from their mouth to the genitals of another person while giving oral sex to them and that can happen even if they don’t have a cold sore at the time. People who have HSV 1 and then acquire HSV 2 are less likely to have noticeable symptoms, but that’s an average – he might have significant symptoms, just no way to know for certain how an infection might go in any individual person, unfortunately.

Terri

[brokenhearted]

Thank you. There is so much to learn! I’m feeling more and more that my boyfriend really cares for me – it’s just that under the circumstances, he wishes he didn’t.

Sorry for being unclear about your book. “Family of Eight” is a section of “The Good News About the Bad News”, Chapter 2, “The Herpes Family of Viruses: Getting to Know the Whole Clan”, page 12. copyright 2009.

[Terri Warren]

ooooh yes that chapter! Now I know what you mean.

Your boyfriend has choices and if he leaves you over this minor health problem, I think he is making a big mistake. But everyone is different and everyone has different values. I just hope you don’t get hurt in this situation.

Terri

[brokenhearted]

Thank you very much. It is so nice to have somebody to talk about all this with. I’d feel so alone without you.

[Terri Warren]

You’re most welcome. I’ve been in his situation and I chose love over the possibility of infection and my risks as a female are significantly higher than his as a male. It all turned out so well for me. In the end, it’s all boils down to this: are you willing to take a small and calculated risk of acquiring genital herpes vs being with the person you love. In my mind, herpes is easy to deal with compared to finding a person with whom you are truly compatible and truly love. Just my opinion.

Terri

• This reply was modified 7 years, 10 months ago by Terri Warren.

[brokenhearted]

Hi Terri. I just paid for more questions. See previous conversation above.

My western blot results came, and confirmed my other positive test. My boyfriend knows that I took the western blot, but I’m afraid to bring up the topic and tell him. The last time we talked about herpes, a week and a half ago, he was still considering us being platonic friends, BUT, he was still reading your book, and said that we have a date for every at least every upcoming Friday. We have a fun time when we are together, and we wants to hold my hand, hug me and snuggle, like a boyfriend, but, no kisses or anything else.

We are both really introverted, and he’s not likely to meet anybody else since it had been several years since he had a girlfriend. I almost feel like just accepting what we have for now, but I know that ultimately he would prefer a sexual relationship with somebody. I’m afraid to talk to him about it, and risk end up with zero, but I want to do the right thing.

I would hope that a serious conversation with him, after reading your book, could come up with a safe compromise for a sexual relationship, but I could also lose everything I already have. He was REALLY afraid of getting genital herpes.

Help.

[Terri Warren]

No kisses??? Now that doesn’t make any sense at all.
You could accept where you are for now. Then, as he gets to know you more and feels more like he goes from liking you to maybe loving you (we can hope!) he will see that the tradeoff he is making is not wise. Maybe you could be the one to suggest that you keep it platonic for now and just enjoy each other and get to know each other better before considering a sexual relationship. Might take the pressure off of him and let things bloom in their own way?

Terri

[brokenhearted]

He REALLY was pursuing a sexual relationship with me, and it was mutual, but I wanted to get us both tested first. After the herpes 2 diagnosis, he stopped. He is even afraid to get it on his mouth.

[Terri Warren]

The only reasonable way he is going to get your HSV 2 is by giving you oral sex. It is highly unlikely that you are infected orally and if you are, which is so unlikely, you would shed virus very very rarely from your mouth.

Terri

[brokenhearted]

Hi again.

My boyfriend was caring and sympathetic when I told him about my western blot results. “Platonic Friends” seems like much less of an option for him. In fact, he suggested using gloves so he can satisfy me sexually. Are vinyl gloves safe to protect from herpes virus? No latex are available at my local drugstore.

I currently have a prescription for acyclovir 400 mg to take three times a day for five days when I have a fever blister outbreak on my lip. Even though I have never had herpes 2 symptoms, would “Suppressive Therapy” with acyclovir every day be a good idea for me? I want to explore all available avenues.

Thank you.

[Terri Warren]

oh my, if the skin on his hands is intact, there is no need for gloves. I hope you don’t go down that road.
Suppressive therapy would be useful for you only, I would think, if there is going to be sex between you two. Otherwise since you aren’t having outbreaks, I can’t see the benefit.

Terri

[brokenhearted]

OK. Thanks.

I’m hoping that down the line, as you said, he might let love win out over the risk. I havent had symptoms, but I understand he could still get it from me. In that case, would suppressive therapy reduce his risk of getting it? I’m thinking of starting it now so it would be in effect if he changes his mind. Thank you.

[brokenhearted]

PS: When you said this:

“The only reasonable way he is going to get your HSV 2 is by giving you oral sex.”

Did you mean on his mouth, or anywhere? Intercourse would transmit it, wouldnt it? Sorry! So much to learn!

[Terri Warren]

I meant that he would not get HSV 2 by kissing you. If he gave your oral sex, he could get it on his mouth, though that would also be very unlikely. Intercourse MIGHT transmit it, but if you were on daily therapy and you had sex about twice a week, about 2 women out of 100 would get infected in a years time

Terri

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