July 30, 2023 at 9:44 am #82461
Hello. I was recently in a relationship and my partner admitted to cheating with 2 women; one of which was unprotected.
We were last unprotected 5/6, I got testing for a full panel 5/19 and was negative across except for HSV1, which we both have since we get cold sores once a year and chlamydia, unfortunately, which was really devastating. No visible sores and my OBGYN said my vulva looked perfectly normal.
He tested 5/26 and HSV2 level was 0.11, which is negative.
We rekindled on 6/3 – he took the condom off the last 30 seconds which I did not know about. Went to my OBGYN who swabbed for gonorrhea, chlamydia and trich – all negative. She said without visible sores, or an outbreak, she highly doubts I have HSV2 and didn’t recommend blood testing until at least 4 weeks out. She also said my vulva looked great at that time too.
We had sex again on 6/28, with a condom for a few minutes in one position, but he mentioned he cut his shaft shaving which made me nervous. I didn’t visibly see anything and he swears he’s never had an outbreak or sores and refuses to re-test because we used a condom.
Is there a chance I’d be HSV-2 positive at all from these last two encounters? What is the risk?
July 30, 2023 at 10:20 am #82473
why on earth would someone take a condom off for the last 30 seconds of intercourse unless they were trying to achieve pregnancy? I don’t get it, but that last 30 seconds present a very small risk. I can only say very small. The last encounter you said was condom protected and condoms reduce transmission from males to females by 96% so I’m no worried about that one. The cut does worry me a bit but he says he is negative but we don’t know when he last had sex with someone else so we honestly don’t know how accurate that result is.
July 31, 2023 at 7:28 am #82482
He told me he couldn’t ejaculate with it on, so he took it off. That was a whole other discussion and I was not happy about it.
I assume he has had sex with people since he was last tested on 5/26 and between us having condom protected sex on 6/28 – but I believe it has been protected because the chlamydia infection really shook us both up. He says he hasn’t had sex at all, but I don’t believe it. He also said he wouldn’t lie about the cut and have sex with me if he thought it was something serious. He said he cut himself with an electric razor and sent me a picture of it on 6/24, I looked at the photo again just now and it didn’t look like a sore. It was at the top of his shaft and three little bloody dots. When we had sex on 6/28, I didn’t see anything on him that stood out.
My OBGYN and he thinks I’m being paranoid about the HSV2 since I’ve never had an outbreak. But if the chance is 4% even with a condom, should I still be worried? I’m testing in an hour because my mind has been going crazy.
July 31, 2023 at 8:18 am #82490
I think infection is unlikely, but with a person who cheats with other women, I too would be concerned, though perhaps not quite as focused on HSV 2 as you are, but still, very concerned about STI’s. You’re not crazy and paranoid – you’ve been badly burned with trust and chlamydia.
August 1, 2023 at 9:14 am #82503
Yeah, it’s not been easy. I can confirm that his cheating did include condoms, and one time without. I’ve spoken to one of the women.
I forgot to mention, i did have a cut on my outer thigh near my rectum, i don’t know if it was due to shaving, it never turned into a sore and resolved with aquaphor. I also had a little cut above my rectum that would hurt when passing stools that also resolved with aquaphor and hot baths. I’ve gotten that area swabbed before in april because I initially freaked out and it was negative and my OBGYN just said it was a fissure or cut from wiping.
Do either of these occurrences sound herpetic? They happened about post encounter from 6/28. Is herpes painful? Does it come in the forms of cuts? Would I know if I had an outbreak or can they be subtle? I’m stressed all the time and under a lot of anxiety.
If I test negative – should I re-test or trust the result and move on?
August 1, 2023 at 7:32 pm #82509
Also just want to note that I asked my OBGYN about these cuts referenced above before on the phone and she’s still convinced it’s not HSV2, due to “location,” how they healed, them occurring weeks after the condom protected sex and no present lesions or sores that ever occurred. She said the condom protected his shaft so even if he lied about cuts, spreading to me is so low risk. She said first time OBs are very painful and usually don’t present in a cut/ are never subtle. Again, she believes I’m overdoing my hysteria and suspects my IGG will be negative. What do you think?
August 6, 2023 at 3:15 pm #82534
Hello, I am just following up on this to confirm my test is negative. Should I retest at a later date at all? The test was taken 5 weeks out since the condom protected encounter.
August 9, 2023 at 12:27 pm #82562
About 85% of people with HSV 2 say they don’t have symptoms and don’t know they are infected so I do disagree with your physician that all first time OB’s are very painful.
Good that you have a negative test. I don’t think you need to retest, no.
August 14, 2023 at 7:13 am #82599
That’s really good to know, thanks, Terri.
One additional question – I noticed a small little cut in the perineum region again on Friday, sort of like a red dot that gets better with Aquaphor, I feel it the most passing stools, and I posted about it before in my previous posts. I have had a fissure for years but it’s on the opposite side in the rectum. This little cut happens now and then from excessive stool passing or going often, etc. I think even wiping. But.. its just been happening more often lately and is starting to worry me.
1. Does this sound like an OB at all?
2. Would they be occurring this frequently either?
3. Should I get it swabbed? It’s pretty small but I definitely see it in a compact mirror if I angle myself properly
August 14, 2023 at 1:52 pm #82601
Just an update – went to an STD clinic and the NP said he wasn’t going to swab me based on the pin size red dot. He said because I haven’t been sexually active 2 months, used a condom and tested negative on an IGG, that there was no need to swab me. He feels I’m negative and it won’t change. Kinda rude to be honest.
I made an appt with my OBGYN for Thursday morning because that’s all I could get but I am afraid 5-6 days is too late for a swab.
I am getting another IGG test tomorrow through Quest.
It seems to reopen everytime I pass a bowel. It seems to heal and close with Aquaphor and then I go reopen it by looking. I read on here that some people have had the same kinda cut in their perineum that ended up being GHSV2 positive.
Does this sound like GHSV2? My ex told me he’s not getting retested since we used a condom and I need to “move on.”
August 19, 2023 at 1:50 pm #82644
I believe we discussed this in another location. The thing that opens with bowel movements doesn’t sound like herpes to me, since it is chronic and is associated with bowel movement.s
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