Possible HSV1 Transmission to Partner

[hsv1_healing]

Hi Terri,

I really appreciate your work on here helping everyone out.

I have a question about potentially transmitting HSV1 to my ex-girfriend. I am 35 years old, male. I tested positive for HSV-1 about two months ago, have had no outbreaks ever, so I don’t know where I have it, probably orally (I didn’t even realize it was included in the STI tests; certainly wasn’t the previous times I did them).

Around the same time I got my positive test, my ex got sick. The first couple of days she just felt “uncomfortable”, then the next 2-3 days she had dried skin on her anus, with some fissures, and then the next 2-3 days she had high fever and felt exhausted. She went to the ER and they told her it was not a UTI but she had some blood in her urine (but didn’t test for herpes). She said it didn’t look like herpes, so we didn’t think much about it.

After we broke up (for unrelated reasons), I have been freaking out about this. We had mostly protected sex but quite a bit of oral sex also. She was also on her period before she got sick, not sure if this is relevant (her periods were usually mild).

Does this sound like a primary outbreak? I don’t really want to get in touch with her again (and honestly at this point it sounds like it would be hard to connect that event to a positive test even if she had one).

[Terri Warren]

I honestly don’t think this sounds like a primary infection with HSV 1. And because HSV 1 recurs so infrequently, she might never have another if it was a primary. Remember that about half the population between 14 and 49 have HSV 1 but 70% don’t know it so she might already have HSV 1. I don’t think you need to continue to worry about this. Even if you did decide to reach out to her to talk about it, if she tested positive for HSV 1, there would be no way to know where it is or who gave it to her. I think it is OK now to put this worry behind you.

terri

[hsv1_healing]

Thanks, Terri! This does soothe my mind.

Just as a general question, and I know people have asked parts of this before but I can’t find all the info in one place. If I have never had outbreaks, are there any everyday activities I should be worried about, like sharing meals, drinks, kissing on the cheek? I will obviously tell future partners. There is so much conflicting info on the internet, it’s hard to separate the facts from the misinformation.

[Terri Warren]

If you have never had an outbreak, I don’t think that you need to worry about the things that you list here. We have no evidence that HSV 1 can be transmitted through utensils, etc, though it is a common worry. I probably would recommend against sharing lipsticks or lipgloss, however.

Terri

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