Questions about my chances of contracting herpes from my girlfriend

[nathan827]

Thanks so much for this great service, Terri!

I’m male and seeing a woman who’s had HSV-2 for over 5 years. She’s been taking antiviral medication (Valtrex, I think) daily for nearly a year. Assuming we abstain from any physical contact during outbreaks (which she says happen about once a year):

1) I know it’s transmitted skin-to-skin, but what if she sits naked on the bed, vaginal fluid touches the sheet, then my penis touches that area?

2) How dangerous is naked cuddling? What about facing each other versus my spooning her from behind? What if I have a tiny cut on my testicles or penis (from pubic hair grooming)?

3) Similarly, what if I wear a condom during sex but the lowest part of my penis and testicles that the condom doesn’t cover come into contact with her groin area?

4) What about touching her vagina with my fingers? Again, what if I have tiny cuts on my finger from dry skin or martial arts?

Thanks again,

Nathan

[Terri Warren]

If she takes Valtrex once daily and you use a condom during sex and you avoid sex altogether if she has an outbreak, then the chances of you getting HSV 2 from her is about 1-2% in a year, having sex about twice per week. If you have sex more often, the risk jumps a little. You can do the math.

1) I know it’s transmitted skin-to-skin, but what if she sits naked on the bed, vaginal fluid touches the sheet, then my penis touches that area?

Not a risk.

2) How dangerous is naked cuddling? What about facing each other versus my spooning her from behind? What if I have a tiny cut on my testicles or penis (from pubic hair grooming)?

If you are cuddling from behind, not a risk if your penis is up against her butt. Face to face cuddling is also not a risk – genital to genital active rubbing probably present a small risk

3) Similarly, what if I wear a condom during sex but the lowest part of my penis and testicles that the condom doesn’t cover come into contact with her groin area?

The testicles, assuming skin is intact, are not at risk. While it is possible to acquire herpes using a condom, the risk is still low – it is not zero. But she is also taking daily antiviral therapy that also reduces the risk.

4) What about touching her vagina with my fingers? Again, what if I have tiny cuts on my finger from dry skin or martial arts?

The risk of acquiring HSV 2 on you fingers from masturbating her is also really low but can happen. I would work to keep your hands nice and moist so cracking is minimized. Also, let me just say that having your genitals touched by rough hands with dry skin is no where near as much fun as being touched by softer hands that have been using moisturizer regularly. Just sayin’

Terri

[nathan827]

Thanks so much for your prompt and helpful reply, Terri!

Out of curiosity, when you say that the risk is low but not zero when using a condom, how would the transmission actually occur if that low chance did come to pass? Would it be that the condom broke, that it remained intact but the virus found its way through a tiny hole anyway, that the virus touched the base of the penis where the condom wasn’t protecting and it was absorbed through the skin, or something else?

Rest assured I try to keep my hands moisturized 🙂 I only mentioned the rough skin to indicate that, with my hobbies, I sometimes have tiny scrapes and cuts, and I was wondering how paranoid I should be about touching her vagina. It sounds like it still shouldn’t be a big deal though (assuming I of course wash my hands regularly and don’t touch her while my finger is actually bleeding or anything)?

[Terri Warren]

Yes I think lots of things factor into condoms not being 100% protective – breaking, slipping off, slipping way down, not covering everything at the base of the penis. Not virus getting through the condom though.

I wouldn’t be too concerned about herpes on the hand (whitlow). I don’t see it that often and you want to be careful not to make her feel untouchable.

Terri

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