Quick Question

[Chasbaby]

Hi Terri,

Thank you for all that you do. I just had a quick question.

3 years ago i got tested for the first time for herpes and everything came back negative besides hsv 1 with a value greater than 8.0. So it was not a new infection, but rather old. I have no idea who or when i contracted the virus. I had not been with anyone two months prior to this. About two weeks later after i got tested, i developed blisters underneath my nose which go hand in hand with oral herpes. I may have had this same lesion when i was a little girl if i can recall correctly. I’ve only had oral symptoms, but never a genital outbreak.

Questions:
If i got hsv 1 orally and genitally at the same time from the same encounter, would i present symptoms orally and genitally at the same time?

Or would the outbreaks be at different times?

[Terri Warren]

If you had these lesions when you were a little girl, you are extremely unlikely to acquire it genitally as an adult. The immunity that you get from having a childhood oral infection almost always protects against genital infection of the same type.

Terri

[Chasbaby]

I am not 100% sure that the childhood sores were herpes though, but I know when I was 19 I had a cluster of blisters underneath my nose which present a classic case of herpes 1.

My question is, if i contracted hsv 1 orally and genitally from the same encounter, would i experience symptoms at the same time?

[Chasbaby]

Also, thank you for your time and response Terri! I appreciate it!

[Terri Warren]

Sometimes, yes, they can recur at the same time but HSV 1 genitally is less likely to recur in general so they may not recur at the same time.

Terri

[Chasbaby]

I understand the reoccurring part being simultaneously.

My question is if you contract hsv 1 in both locations (orally and genitally) during the same encounter, will you experience a primary outbreak in both locations around the same time?

Like if I contracted hsv 1 orally and genitally from the same exposure, would You expect to get an outbreak orally and genitally around the same time? Am I making sense?

[Terri Warren]

OK, I get it now. If you contracted HSV 1 in both locations at the same time, yes, I think you would have symptoms in both locations at the same time. I thought you were referring to recurrences.

Terri

[Chasbaby]

Great, thank you Terri. I just bought another round of follow up questions.

Last question..
In your experience with hsv, is it common to see women get an outbreak inside their vagina or cervix with no sores on the outside of the vagina?

Or do you typically see women get a herpes outbreak on the outside of their vagina (vulva, labia minora, etc)?
Which one is more common?

[Terri Warren]

I would not say it is common to have an outbreak on the cervix without external lesions except unless someone is actually looking at a cervix through a speculum there is really no way to know for sure, right? I almost never see outbreaks in the vagina. Most outbreaks by far are somewhere on the labia, around the anus or on the buttocks.

Terri

[Chasbaby]

Do you see outbreaks more commonly on the Labia Majora or on the inside of the Labia minora?

Thank you for the information!

[Terri Warren]

We see them in both places about equally, I think

Terri

[Chasbaby]

Hi Terri,

I know I have one last question on this subscription I paid for, and was wondering if you could give me some advice about a recent exposure I had.

My new partner and I fooled around last night. We were both naked, but did not have oral or vaginal intercourse. We were both naked, but his penis never touched my vagina. He did however touch his penis and then finger me. At most, his penis might of touched my lower back/butt for a few minutes but no where near my vaginal secretions. I just his entire boxer area and penis for any bumps or lesions, and I saw none. I did see like a black spot on his pelvis but when I touched it & asked him what it was he said nothing. I would imagine that herpes would not be a black spot & it was only in one area. Not multiple. He is black & Hawaiian, so his genitals are a little darker.

Questions:
Do any of these acts put me at risk for genital herpes? Or am I overthinking this?

Can you get herpes from a man touching his penis and then fingering you?

If he were to have herpes whitlow on his fingers, what strain of hsv is that from? Because I already have hsv 1.

What are the chances he has herpes whitlow on his fingers? Is it common?

[Terri Warren]

Herpes would not be a black spot, no.
You are definitely over thinking this.
Unless there is an active lesion on his penis and he is actively masturbating his penis, then masturbating you, I think there is zero risk!
Whitlow can be either HSV 1 or HSV 2 – I have seen both. Whitlow is NOT common, no.

Terri

[Chasbaby]

Hi Terri,

Thank you for the clarification. I just bought a new round of questions to ask one last question.

questions:
Theoretically speaking, if he touched a sore on his penis and then fingered me, could genital herpes be passed this way?

Also, if his penis touched my back/butt for a few minutes, is this a risk?

I read that genital to hand exposure is very rare and most doctor’s have not seen a case of someone getting genital herpes by someone touching their genitals and then touching their partner’s genitals.

[Terri Warren]

Theoretically? Like a huge unlikely longshot? Yes
Not a risk to touch your butt with his penis
I have never ever seen a hand to genital transmission, no. Never.
Your fears of acquiring herpes are honestly bordering on a psychological problem and I think you might want to consider counseling to work on this unreasonable fear. I only say this because I care about you, you know.

Terri

[Chasbaby]

Terri,

I know, I’m in therapy right now but this has been my first new partner in a year and I’m terrified.

So you have never seen a case of someone getting genital herpes from touching a sore and then fingering someone?

Why is his penis touching my butt not a risk?

Maybe I just need to understand how things can be transmitted because I agree, my anxiety about catching hsv is over board. I’m trying to maintain it the best that I can.

[Terri Warren]

NO, I have never seen a case of someone touching a sore and then fingering someone else. Buttocks skin is too thick for virus to enter the body.

Terri

[Chasbaby]

Terri,

I know that I need to get my anxiety under control and am I currently working with a therapist right now to do so. I just moved to a new city, so my anxiety is through the roof. I apologize to keep bothering you, but I had one last question.

I understand I cannot get herpes from being fingered or genital-hand-genital transmission. As I stated before, my partner had NO bumps, lesions or sores on his penis, balls or pubic area.

With that being said, what are the chances I would get herpes if his penis touched my anus or vagina for a minute?

[Terri Warren]

Let’s be clear – you are NOT bothering me at all. This is what I do.
If his penis touched your vagina or anus for just a minute, like brushed it vs. grinding into it, no, no chance.

Terri

[Chasbaby]

Thank you for the clarification Terri, this has made me feel so much better!

By grinding into it, do you mean grinding into my vagina or anus? Because like I said, there was definitely NO penetration.

Also, since he did not have any sores or lesions present, does this at least reduce the risk by a lot?

[Terri Warren]

By grinding, I mean vigorously rubbing his penis repeatedly against your anus or vagina. If he did have herpes and had no lesions, yes, the risk would be less because he had lesions but the risk is already not there unless there was the grinding that I am describing.

Terri

[Chasbaby]

I understand now.

See, my problem is that after my partner got done fingering me, we started kissing. No contact was being made when we were kissing. Then I reached down to grab his penis and it was out. Like he still had his boxers on, but his penis was out. So I don’t know if he pulled his penis out in that moment or if it was out the entire time he was fingering me? That’s what scares me.

Ugh, help me Terri 🙁

[Terri Warren]

It’s OK that his penis was out of his boxers! That doesn’t mean that he had enough contact with her vagina or anus to infect you! You would have felt that I am certain.

Terri

[Chasbaby]

Okay, so you believe that I am not at risk? Should I get tested?

I’m so sad because I don’t want to sit here every day for the next month inspecting myself or worrying about every little ache or itch I get. This is ridiculous, I’m in so much misery and I didn’t even have vaginal or oral sex.

Thank you for all that you do Terri. I can not express enough gratitude. You truly are amazing.

[Terri Warren]

I believe you are not at risk and should not be tested again.
And I also suggest that when you start to check your genitals you tell yourself “STOP” and then don’t but allow yourself about 15 minutes each day, once a day, to examine your genitals very carefully. Just don’t do it any other time of the day. Gradually, decrease that time to 10 minutes and then 5. Hopefully, at some point, you can go to every other day then every third day. But the trick is not doing it at any other time. Do you think you can do that?

terri

[Chasbaby]

I’d honestly rather not check my genitals because it just gives me severe anxiety. Are you advising I check my genitals every day for a herpes outbreak, or are you just suggesting this to help decrease my OCD?

[Terri Warren]

I am suggesting it as a way to manage your OCD. I assuming your are checking all the time anyway, this is just a way to manage this.

Terri

[Chasbaby]

Got ya. Thank you for all the information today, I can really put things into perspective.

The only portion that is concerning me now is that when he first fingered me, we were spooning. So, my back was against his stomach. His arm and hand were obviously along my backside, butt and vagina since he was fingering me, if you can imagine the image I’m trying to present. While he was fingering I felt a couple of thrusts. He did have his boxers on, but I don’t know if his penis was out or not. I don’t know if this constitutes as vigorous genital to genital grinding?

[Terri Warren]

It does not, no.

Terri

[Chasbaby]

Thank you for all the information Terri, I truly appreciate it.

Can I get your advice on something?

I am trying to control my OCD and anxiety, and therefore do not want to be touching and looking every second. The other night I went to the ER because a spot on my anus stung but I couldn’t see if it was a tear or not. The doctor said she didn’t see anything and that it was probably a tear that was now healing. She told me to put hydroctisone and lidocaine on it and I did. The next morning the pain was gone. Obviously logic tells me this couldn’t be herpes if the medicine helped, correct?

I wouldn’t need to look for a herpes outbreak, correct? Like, with herpes you would know something is not right down there, you don’t need to go looking for it, correct?

Also, I was thinking about just asking my partner if his penis ever touched my private parts that way I can just put this misery to bed. I’m literally waking up with anxiety every day from this exposure and I didn’t even have sex. It kills me. I just don’t want my partner to think I am a lunatic and crazy. Should i just ask him?

[Chasbaby]

Also, I woke up with a little bit of a sore throat and its causing my anxiety.

[Terri Warren]

NOthing to do with herpes.

Terri

[Chasbaby]

Did you see my comment above? What’s your advice Terri? I don’t want my partner to think i’m an absolute lunatic, but on the other hand I need peace of mind.

I am trying to control my OCD and anxiety, and therefore do not want to be touching and looking every second. The other night I went to the ER because a spot on my anus stung but I couldn’t see if it was a tear or not. The doctor said she didn’t see anything and that it was probably a tear that was now healing. She told me to put hydroctisone and lidocaine on it and I did. The next morning the pain was gone. Obviously logic tells me this couldn’t be herpes if the medicine helped, correct?

I wouldn’t need to look for a herpes outbreak, correct? Like, with herpes you would know something is not right down there, you don’t need to go looking for it, correct?

Also, I was thinking about just asking my partner if his penis ever touched my private parts that way I can just put this misery to bed. I’m literally waking up with anxiety every day from this exposure and I didn’t even have sex. It kills me. I just don’t want my partner to think I am a lunatic and crazy. Should i just ask him?

[Terri Warren]

I do think if you had a herpes symptom, you would know it, yes.
And no, I really don’t think you should ask your partner if he penis touched your genitals because even if they did, there clearly wasn’t enough contact to give you herpes.
Going to the ER with some stinging is the kind of thing that keeps your OCD going. Is your therapist working on cognitive behavior therapy with you? Have you considered medication for this?

Terri

[Chasbaby]

Terri, I have an unusual bump/lesion on my thigh. It’s just in one, slightly raised red bump. It doesn’t itch or burn, but a little sore. My mom says it either looks like a bug bite or hives, but I doubt it’s hives because it’s just one raised bump.

Could I get herpes on my thigh if my partners penis touched/rubbed against my thigh? Or is the skin too thick to pass through like the buttocks?

[Terri Warren]

No, the skin is too thick for virus to enter directly into the thigh.

This is your last response on your subscription

Terri

• This reply was modified 8 years, 1 month ago by Terri Warren.

[Chasbaby]

Thank you Terri for always giving me peace of mind.

Last night I had to go the ER room because my heart was hurting due to the amount of anxiety I’ve had. I also had the doctor look at my anal cut and she said she didn’t see anything to cause for alarm. The same spot from Saturday started stinging again yesterday. She said she didn’t see anything lesions, inflammation or abrasions. She said it’s not nearly as bad as I think. It just concerned me because it looks like a piece of skin is missing, so in my mind I was thinking a sore. It’s missing skin the size of a pin head and stings only sometimes on my anus. Both doctors that have seen it either can’t see it or say it’s not herpes. Would this be herpes?

Also, I found 2 red bumps on the inside of my buttcheek last night. They are far apart and not in clusters. They don’t hurt, itch or burn. I wouldn’t even notice they were there. I shouldn’t be worried about this being herpes right? Because the butt skin is too thick for the virus to pass through?

It’s been 8 days and I haven’t had any symptoms (except for the 2 pimples and stinging anus pin head cut). Is it almost safe to say I’m gonna be okay?

[Terri Warren]

Yes, I feel that now it is safe to say you are totally going to be OK.
And no, neither you anal symptoms or buttcheek symptoms sound like they are herpes related. Yes, the buttocks skin is too thick for virus to enter.
Did you get my question about medicines for anxiety?

Terri

[Chasbaby]

Yeah, I had a doctor look at the spot on my anus the day I found it and yesterday. Both say they either can’t see it or that it’s not herpes. It just looked like a piece of missing skin the size of a pin head, so I thought it was a sore. But my doctor yesterday said it would not be just one, it would be multiple & he said it does not look herpes related at all. I got this symptom the 3rd day, that’s why I was concerned. If this was herpes, it would be bigger than the size of a pin head right?

Yes, sorry. My doctor prescribed me valium and took me off Xanax, which is good because Xanax has bad withdrawal symptoms and doesn’t have a long life span. It just wasn’t working for me anymore. Hopefully this can carry me over throughout the next couple weeks.

Do you believe I would of had symptoms by now? It’s been 9 days now. My doctor said most patients he see’s have symptoms 48-72 hours.

[Chasbaby]

I’m trying to remain as calm as I can, but my anxiety/OCD gets the worst of me sometimes. I had genital itching and then my anxiety took over. This is killing me.

Is there any reassurance you can give me that may make me feel better? I fully trust your opinion.

Question:
Do you believe I would of had symptoms by now? It’s been 10 days.

Should I be worried about getting symptoms from here on out?

[Terri Warren]

YES, your contact is just not worrisome to me AT ALL. And yes, most people with new herpes do have symptoms within 10 days. Have you asked this person to be tested for herpes?

Terri

[Chasbaby]

I just paid for some more questions, just to let you know Terri. Thank you for all of your advice on here!

I did tell my partner that if he wanted to have sex, he would need to get tested otherwise I wouldn’t have sex with him. I didn’t think I would be freaking out this much over fingering, a handjob and a potential genital to genital contact. I broke things off with him because this just became too much for me to handle and I don’t want to bring anyone else down with my anxiety. When I asked him to get tested, he said it was just “too much” to be doing just to have sex with someone. That started to make me wonder if he was hiding something? It could just be me overthinking. But that also escalated my fears.

Questions:
Should i expect symptoms from here on out? It’s been 11 days now.

Does your answer change knowing that I have hsv 1 orally?

I was taking metrogel for BV and after treated my discharge was clumpy. That’s usually normal, but its lasted a little longer than usual. I’m not have any other symptoms besides the clumpy like discharge. No itching, burning or smell. Would herpes just cause discharge like this?

[Terri Warren]

No the herpes discharge is watery and not clumpy at all.
You should not expect symptoms that are herpetic to appear after now, but I am guessing that you will be very focused on your genitals and notice every little itch or bump.
Again, we have to go back to the contact – yours did not present a risk!

Terri

[Chasbaby]

Even though I do have hsv 1 orally, would I still have gotten symptoms by day 10? The only symptoms I had was the two pimples on my butt, but they didnt hurt or itch. Maybe a little tender like a pimple is. But not painful. I dont know if hsv 1 would cause my symptoms to be that mild. One doctor saw it and said it’s a normal skin variance, and my other doctor didn’t even comment on it.

Thank you for all of your kindness and patience, it has really helped me.

My mind starting think about all these “what ifs” and I know you’re not here to answer those. But do you see people getting genital herpes from something fingering them with herpes whitlow? I believe i am really overthinking that one, and again would of had symptoms by now if that was the case.

[Chasbaby]

Terri,

Remember how I told you I was taking Metronidazole gel for BV? Well, my symptoms went away but I still have a clumpy like discharge a week after using the medication. I called the doctor to see if I could get yeast medicine now. My vulva is super dry and seems a little irritated. I’m guessing because it’s not getting any vaginal secretions. I have heard people say that herpes can mimic a yeast infection. I’m not having burning or soreness. But on my vulva it may be a little irritated and itchy, plus my clumpy like discharge. Usually when I get a yeast infection my vagina internally is sore, burning and itching.. But I’m not having that. Just my vulva might be irritated and a little itchy.

Could this be herpes?
It just scares me when people say a yeast infection mimics herpes.

[Terri Warren]

Herpes can mimic a yeast infection due to the itching, not due to the discharge. I think you should be reacting to the intravaginal medication but not herpes.

Honestly, I think you should stop posting here because I am not helping you get over this obsession with herpes. And our system has completely lost track of the number of posting you are doing vs. how much you have paid. Dont’ you think we should stop this?

Terri

• This reply was modified 8 years, 1 month ago by Terri Warren.

[Chasbaby]

Absolutely. I can honor your wishes Terri ! Thank you for all the information and help that you have provided me. Can I ask one last question before I go? I paid for a new round of questions. I have kept up to date with how much I am posting and should be paying.

I called my doctor yesterday and explained the discharge to her. She said sometimes the metrogel can give you a yeast infection. I thought it was weird that I had a yeast infection because I have no other symptoms, just clumpy discharge. So they prescribed me diflucan and nystop (nystatin) for any irritation. On one side of my labia right outside the vagina, there is a very red spot. It looks extremely irritated. It isn’t itchy or sore, but maybe burns if i touch it and increases the redness. I don’t know if the redness is from touching, but i’m putting medicine on it. It’s day 13 post exposure, do you think this could be herpes?

Thank you for your time Terri ! I will not bother you after this! I will simply re-read our convo, instead of asking new questions if I start to get concerned.

[Terri Warren]

Sweetie, it isn’t that you are bothering me, I just feel badly for taking your money when I don’t feel like I am helping you. If it helps you, I don’t mind answering, just so you know it bothers my conscience to take your money when I don’t feel like I am helping you.

And no, I don’t think the red spot sounds like herpes. If it was herpes, it would be more than red. I would suggest that you try to stop touching it.

terri

[Chasbaby]

I understand. It makes me so upset that I can’t help myself.

I’m taking yeast medication but my discharge hasn’t changed yet. Now it’s starting to burn while I pee. I’m like running through my head, trying to logically think about this situation. I know I couldn’t of gotten anything from fingering, so that only leaves his penis potentially touching my vagina. I remember telling you though the night after that it didn’t and he even told me his penis did not touch my vagina. There was no dry humping or grinding while we were naked, I was just worried about him pulling out his penis when his boxers were on and grinding it on me while he was fingering me. But it’s a “what if”. Plus that doesn’t make sense because if he’s fingering me, how can his penis touch my vagina? His hand would of been there. It’s almost been 14 days and I haven’t seen any bumps yet.

Terri, can you help me rationally look at the risk of this exposure and put things into perspective for me? I’d really appreciate that. Last post, I promise.

[Terri Warren]

I think you raise a very good point – if his finger is in your vagina, how could his penis be there too unless he is a contortionist!

If you are having pain with urination, do you think you should be checked for urinary tract infection?

Terri

[Chasbaby]

No, i took a test for a UTI and it came out negative. Terri, it’s been 15 days post exposure but i’m still having the same discharge even after diflucan for yeast. I scheduled an appt with my gyno next week, but in the mean time am freaking out. I know this is not a forum about STD’s, but I don’t know where else to turn.

I know we didn’t have sex and he only fingered me, but can you get chlamydia or gonnorhea from mutual masturbation?
My logical guess is no.

If his penis touched my vagina but had no penetration, can you get chlamydia or gonnorhea that way?

I’m just feeling so hopeless and don’t know where or who else to turn to 🙁
I have no explanations for my clumpy white discharge.

[Terri Warren]

Chlamydia and gonorrhea do not cause a clumpy white discharge – they cause more of a yellow runnier discharge. I don’t see how you would get that either, in your situation. You would need get either of these through mutual masturbation, no.

Terri

[Chasbaby]

As you suspected, i’d be back with anxiety over a bump that I found. I am so sorry to keep this thread going and to bother you. I have been working with a therapist that has really helped me trust and rationalize my situation, but in situations like this I don’t know what to do. Before I use to rush to the closest doctor to get any bump checked out and now I can remain calm. However, I feel like If i don’t get this bump checked out then i’ll continue to worry its herpes. I don’t know, i need your advice and help.

It had been 22 days post exposure and I had no symptoms, until today. I noticed a small bump on the inside of my labia, close to where hair grows. It’s very small. It doesn’t itch or burn, doesn’t even hurt yet. I do not want to continue to be a hypochondriac and go to the doctors every time, so please give me the best advice you can. You know me and my anxiety/ocd, so please consider that. I also got tested at 3 weeks for some comfort because I know 50% of people will test positive if they have herpes. I have come to the rationalization that his penis did not touch my vagina or vaginal secretions, including my anus. However, i’m still worried that his penis may of touched my pubic area or maybe (not likely) vulva. I would really appreciate it if you could answer my both my questions below Terri, I trust you.

What do you suggest I should do? Go to a doctor or not?

Would someone be getting herpes symptoms 22 days after their exposure? If you do not believe so, then I will trust what you say and let it be.

Should i be worried?

[Terri Warren]

I think you should not go to the doctor, and I think that should be part of your therapy, making yourself not go to the doctor. You would not be getting first symptoms 22 days later. How about if we agree that you wait five days and if the bumps is still there you get it checked out.
I do not think you should be worried.

Terri

[Chasbaby]

Okay, perfect. Thank you for all of your patience and kind words Terri, I really appreciate it. I know a person with my OCD traits can be very annoying to deal with.

Well, I got my results back and everything came back negative. Value was below <.2 just like the rest of the times. On top of not having symptoms and being negative at 3 weeks, can I rest assure I did not catch herpes from this event? Or would you suggest another test in later weeks?

[Terri Warren]

I would not suggest that you test again no unless you just can’t help it. Everything together looks good!

Terri

[Chasbaby]

Okay, sounds good. I will take your advice Terri.

My doctor scared the heck out of me. She said to be careful not to touch my cold sores and then touch down there. Then I remembered two years ago I accidently touched my cold sore and then touched my genitals because I was checking myself for bumps because I had a new partner. I was rubbing and touching my finger against my entire vagina area to ensure I was okay. I never got any symptoms after this and at that point I had already tested positive with a value over 8.0. Could I have passed my oral hsv 1 to myself then?

Also, should I not expect to get symptoms after now? It’s been 24 days. Should I not be worried?

[Terri Warren]

The likelihood of you passing a cold sore from your mouth to your genitals with a well established infection (index value of 8.0) are extremely extremely tiny. I would suggest you take that off your worry list.

No, you should not be worried 24 days out.

Terri

[Chasbaby]

Terri, thank you for all of your help. I have been working with my therapist and have gotten on new medication. Hopefully this will help all my irrational fears. I believe I have one last question on this subscription.

After using that metrogel, I got a yeast infection. I don’t remember if you recall me telling you that. But now I’m concerned that may of been herpes. I didn’t have any symptoms, besides cottage cheese white discharge. No itching, burning or soreness either. I even checked myself for bumps every day and never saw any. I know you said herpes discharge is not cottage cheese like. But should I be concerned this yeast infection was herpes?

I’m terrified to get another yeast infection and I’m trying to rationalize the situation. Also, the diflucan cleared it up after a couple of days. And my partners penis was never inside of me, so I would imagine that I would not get an outbreak on my cervix or inside my vagina since his penis was not inside of me, correct?

Should I be concerned this Yeast infection was herpes? Do you think it was?

[Terri Warren]

BV and herpes are nothing alike. Herpes does not cause a cottage cheese discharge, that’s yeasty. No, I don’t think you should worry that the discharge was herpes. Correct that you would not have a cervical infection. I think clearly you had a yeast infection.

Terri

[Chasbaby]

I am devasted right now Terri. I don’t know what else to do. I’ve been consulting with my therapist and she actually thinks getting information from you is helpful and helps me rationalize. I bought a new round of questions by the way.

On Monday, I stupidly touched and found a small tiny bump. I rubbed it for several minutes and then decided to let it go. The next day I woke up and that side of my labia/vulva was sore. The bump vanished within a day or two. But now my labia and vulva burn really bad. After looking, there is nothing I can see and after I touch it just gets redder and redder. My labia Majora is really red, but especially on the side that had the bump. I’ve been refraining from doctors like you said to, but I’m literally at a loss. I don’t know what to do. My labia and vulva don’t feel normal. It burns and itches a little when I touch it, but not so much when I’m not touching it. What could this be? Do I have any reason to believe this is the start of a herpes outbreak?

[Terri Warren]

I wonder if rubbing it might be making it feel irritated? And that would certainly cause redness, right? If you really feel the need to go to the doctor then do, but don’t go the ER or urgent care. Go to your own doctor who knows you already and try to keep from rubbing and pushing on it. I think you could be creating your own problem

It is NOT the beginning of a herpes outbreak

Terri

[Chasbaby]

I ended up not going to the doctor, and just left it alone. I think it’s starting to get better, hopefully.

Now I’m stuck in a new dilemma. I’ve recently entered a new relationship, although we have done nothing.. Not even kissed yet. I was thinking about getting retested in a couple weeks to ensure that I do not have herpes for a fact. So far I haven’t had any symptoms, my 3 week test was negative under .2 and I did not have sex or penetration during my last exposure. It’s been a month now. I’m afraid to get retested because I’m scared of the results being anything but negative. But I want to know for a FACT that I do not have herpes entering into my new relationship. I also haven’t shaved since my last encounter because I’m afraid to get bumps and freak out. Herpes is really just dictating my life.

What do you think about this situation?
How should I handle it?
Do I get retested or just move on with life?

[Terri Warren]

So you don’t want this person to think you are kind of nuts about herpes, right? I would suggest that you take this incredibly slow. Don’t even think about having any kind of sex with this person. Kissing is OK, sex at this point, no, I would strongly suggest no. And at some point, way before having sex, he should be tested so you don’t have to go through this situation over and over. Don’t set yourself up for this kind of upset again.

I personally don’t think you need to get tested again but I’ve been down this road with you before. You think you can move on but then you can’t. So this time, let’s have it be really clean. You wait 12 weeks to be tested, you get your partner tested before having sex, look at the results so you feel reassured, then move on slowly. I think anything else is going to put you in the circular situation once again.

Terri

[Chasbaby]

I’ve asked him to get tested and he said no. He says that he doesn’t have anything to get tested for because he always uses condoms. I told him he could still contract a skin disease that way, but he claims he’s never had any symptoms. I will say that I trust him and believe that he always does use condoms. We’ve talked about sex and he won’t even not use a condom with me. I think he’s fearful about getting someone pregnant, just like I’m fearful of contracting herpes. I’ve already broken up with 2 other partners because they wouldn’t get tested. It seems like no man wants to get tested and it’s upsetting.

I know that my exposure was low risk because I didn’t have sex or penetration, so if I tested negative from 6-8 weeks, I could be confident with that and move on. I know 80% of people will tested positive by 6 weeks, so I could be pretty confident with a negative at that point. What do you think?

I know I’ve asked this already, but I should not be concerned about any bumps or symptoms from here on out, correct? It’s already been a month and some days, and I haven’t had any symptoms yet.

I just want to have a good thanksgiving and not be worried about herpes by then. I want to be able to enjoy my holidays without thinking I have herpes.

[Terri Warren]

When is six weeks up? Yes, I think you should rely on your six week result. If is negative, enjoy your Thanksgiving. If he wont’ test and that’s OK with you then fine.

Terri

[Chasbaby]

Next week will be 6 weeks!

Do you think I should expect a negative at 6 weeks, after my negative 3 week test & no symptoms yet?

[Terri Warren]

Yes, I honestly think you can expect a negative at 6 weeks, yes!

Terri

[Chasbaby]

Terri,
I know i’ve said this time and time again, but I just want to thank you for your advice and helping me rationalize my situation. You have been instrumental in my healing process and dealing with my anxiety/OCD. I trust your opinion to the fullest. Please don’t feel obligated to reply to my posts, although they do help tremendously! I would like you to know that I haven’t been to the doctors in a month and a half because of YOUR advice! This is huge for me. Also, I just bought a new round of questions and am keeping track of my posts & payments. I promise after I get my results, I will not return to ask you ridiculous “what if” questions.

However, I need your advice on something. So this past week my bowel movements have been hard and my anus is so sore. I have been straining when I go to the bathroom. Today I decided to look and noticed I had a few cuts in/on my anus, but i believe thats from my hard bowel movements cutting the tissue. However, I noticed a black/purple cut that had two lumps/bumps, one on each side of the cut. I cannot tell if the bumps hurt or if they look like blisters or not. They’re so close to the cut so I cannot tell if the bumps hurt or not, but i definitely know the cut hurts. They look more like lumps/bumps maybe. But the skin is slimmy so i cant tell if its a blister or bump. It reminds me of a thrombosed hemmorhoid. Fluid is coming out of the purple cut. When I extract my anus, the lumps/bumps kind of subside. But when my anus retracts, you can see the bumps/lumps. Like you have said, I don’t believe I would be getting symptoms a month and some odd days later, and I even had my anus checked multiple times in the first 10 days after the incident a month and a half ago & doctors saw nothing that resembled herpes. My anus is itching and sore, but it’s always itchy because I get cuts from bm’s easily with blood on the tiolet paper.

Do you think I need to get this checked out by a doctor?
Do you think the bumps are blisters?

[Terri Warren]

I don’t think the bumps are blisters, no.
It sounds to me like you have some little hemorrhoids to me. And that would be reasonable since you are straining with bowel movements. You might want to take some fiber supplements to reduce this problem, but I honestly think these have nothing to do with herpes. If the bumps turn into a grape like thing, then you should get it checked out. If not, I don’t think you need to, no.

Terri

[Chasbaby]

They’ve gotten better Terri, thank you for the advice!

Should I be worried that the cuts on my anus are herpes?
Or should I take it off my worry list since it’s been a month & a week since the incident?

[Chasbaby]

Also, in your experience with herpes, do you typically see anal herpes present as tears or cuts or is it rare?

I have a couple cuts on my anus and if I touch them, they sting. They just look red, almost like blood.

Should I be worried these cuts are herpes?

It’s frustrating because most people would accept their negative 3 week test & move on. I didn’t even have sex or oral, I’m just worried that his penis touched my anus. He definitely never penetrated my anus or anything like that.

[Chasbaby]

Sorry I’ve posted two posts, but I wanted to update you.

I developed a sore throat and mild cough Friday. I don’t have any lesions or anything, besides the cuts on my anus. I had the cuts though before the sore throat. I have no fever or body aches though. No congestion or runny nose either.

I shouldn’t be worried about me being sick having to do with herpes because it’s been longer than 5 weeks, correct?

Also, do you think the cuts on my anus are herpes based on what I posted above?

Thank you Terri.

[Terri Warren]

I honestly don’t think the cuts around your anus are herpes, I really don’t. You mentioned earlier that you had been having some hard stools- I think that is far more likely to be the cause of your red areas around the anus.

Terri

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