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sex as usual clarification

› Forums › Herpes Questions › sex as usual clarification

  • This topic has 5 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 10 months ago by Terri Warren.
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    • April 3, 2015 at 5:21 pm #5837
      101help
      Spectator

      Hi Terri.
      Your phone session was very helpful. Almost immediately my husband came home to discuss it with me. While talking, his nurse called him. His first blood test (with way low antibodies, indicating a new infection if correct) had been the IgM (taken a few weeks after his OB cleared up), which, as I understand it, goes up and down again. His second blood test (IgG) had never been taken by the lab as ordered so he had gone in later last week. Also we got the names of the two tests (for him) mixed up. She cleared that up and the second test, not the first was the IgG and that test came back at an index value of 23.6. So he DOES have the antibodies too and so the mystery was solved. You would not believe (or maybe you would) all the people who had pointed fingers at him for cheating while I was out of town and at me for being so naïve during the past three weeks. We were never so happy to be both “positive.” So, first of all thank you so very much for your clarity. You were right, something didn’t make sense in the test results. We have always been very in love and the insecurity of this mystery of antibody results was very distressing for both of us. We never knew we had it all these decades together. And we are not going to do that “where did we get it” or “who gave it to who” investigation either as it seems highly unproductive. It is obvious now that we have had it awhile. Also, since aggravation can cause an outbreak and my husband did vigorously masturbate while I was out of town, that is probably how he stimulated his mysterious outbreak. I share this on the forum to both thank you and let other partners know that, due to the confusion around testing –and outbreaks- out there, tests do NOT always mean your partner cheated.

      My follow up questions are: If my repeating lesion is a small one (nickel to quarter size) on the top of my buttocks, can I or could I have other undetected lesions elsewhere that I never knew about or does it typically recur at the same spot and just that one? Also, since we both must have contracted this years ago without knowing (since our antibodies on the IGG test are 15 (me) and 23.6 (him), can we resume sex as usual or should we still take precautions, and/or abstain if we see or feel an outbreak and also double up on not touching sores and handwashing? Also, at this point, is there any reason at all for any further testing?

      Thank you so very, very much. You have helped clear up such a distressing time in our marriage.

    • April 3, 2015 at 8:17 pm #5860
      Terri Warren
      Keymaster

      I’m so happy for you. I of course remember your situation well and what a relief it was to you this must be. See, YOU KNEW your husband and you were right. Resume sex as usual, yes, definitely. There is no reason for further testing nor is there any reason to abstain from sex at any point unless one of you is uncomfortable.

      You are most welcome, so glad I could help you both.

      Terri

    • April 4, 2015 at 3:39 pm #5867
      101help
      Spectator

      Dear Terri,

      I had my best night’s sleep in weeks since this all emerged. Thank you for your help in that.

      But, just to be sure about part of my above question:

      If my repeating lesion is a small one (nickel to quarter size) on the top of my buttocks, can I or could I have other undetected lesions elsewhere that I never knew about or does it typically recur at the same spot and just that one?

      And thanks again for all your help.

    • April 4, 2015 at 3:53 pm #5868
      Terri Warren
      Keymaster

      You could also be shedding virus from the genital tract at any time, but since your husband is also infected, that is not a concern.

      Terri

    • April 4, 2015 at 5:43 pm #5874
      101help
      Spectator

      I have never (to my knowledge) or heard from any Gyn. that I have ever had an genital sores. How is it possible that I got a tiny sore on my upper buttock? And is it possible for the sore to erupt elsewhere, like my vagina?

      Thanks again.

    • April 4, 2015 at 5:54 pm #5877
      Terri Warren
      Keymaster

      It is possible to get an outbreak anywhere in the area from your waist to about your knee because those are the areas innervated by the sacral ganglia, the group of nerves that is infected. But even if you don’t get a genial sore, it is still possible for you to shed virus from the genital area.

      This is actually your final post on the subscription. If you have more questions please feel free to renew your subscription.

      Terri

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