still unsure

[deeplysaddened]

Hi Teri, this is my first time to ask questions but first I want to thank you for this question and answer forum, it is so informative and helpful in so many ways for those of us that are lost and mise ducted on this subject.
So a little background on my situation is I slept with a guy I had been talking to for about 2 months. The first time we had sex we used a condom for part of our sexual encounter, by that I mean we had intercourse with a condom then that same night we had intercourse a couple more times with no condom. At first I was very wet, and not sure if maybe then the virus could have passed, and then I became dry after a while of having sex. When I become dry and still have sex, I sometimes get a yeast infection and some soreness. Three days after we had sex, I felt itching and tingling and the bumps appeared. I was able to get to the doctor in time for him to swab the bumps which later came up positive for HSV, not quite sure if it’s 1 or 2 but due to my frequent outbreaks I believe it is 2. Before this man I hadnt had sex for 4-5 months and never any symptoms of HSV, but I do remember having a yeast infection that wasnt resolved by over the counter yeast infection medicine, so I seen my GYN and he confirmed yeast infection with a test and gave me a stronger cream, I guess. I mention this yeast infection because I’m not sure if maybe this bad yeast infection was a sign of HSV before having sex wit him? I have never
been test for HSV before so I really didn’t know my status at that time. I am another person that thought HSV was included in STD testing but I know that to be untrue now after reading ur book and hundreds of posts. I thought maybe I was tested when pregnant years ago but I’m really not sure, probably not.

So my questions are and I know that I have read that passing HSV is unlikely to be passed on a first time but
1. Have u seen it happen on a first time with having sex with someone? And why is it so unlikely to happen on a first time?

2. How much virus is needed to pass it to someone? I ask this because I remember being so wet.

3. If I did have the virus before this encounter and it was just dormant, what would have made it come out at this time? Could it have been still having sex while dry and somewhat forcing it in?

[Terri Warren]

1. I have seen it happen the first time someone has sex with a new partner but rarely. I think the reason it is not common is just the statistical low risk of getting herpes with only one intercourse. Unlike gonorrhea or chlamydia which is present all the time once infected, herpes is present on and off.

2. We don’t know that for certain but we have a guess statistically. I’m not sure how the number of virus present needed to infect someone would help you. And I’m not clear that being really wet with sex makes a lot of difference. What probaly could make a difference is the fact that you had sex numerous times on the same day and were dry with some of that. Dryness can cause small tears in the skin that allow virus in more easily, the reverse of what you are describing with the initial wetness.

3. Again, dry sex can be a trigger and frequent sex after long periods of no sex can also be a trigger. So yes, your assumption is correct. it is a pity you did not have an antibody test done at that first visit – that would have told you. Are you sure you didn’t?

You have two more questions.

Terri

[deeplysaddened]

Thanks, I have a clearer understanding now. At the Dr.’s office, I wasn’t even offered to take a blood test. I only thought,at that time,that the blood test just told whether u had it or not and since the bumps were present I knew it was gonna come back positive but hoping and praying it wasnt. Once getting the positive results from the doctor, i was so devastated and depressed, I didn’t do much but cry and I still do sometimes. It wasnt until I started doing more research that I found out I could have known if I was just infected by doing a blood test. That was probably 2-3 months after finding out.
1. Would that have been in the appropriate time frame to find out it was a new infection? And when is it too late to find out because the antibodies have developed?

Needless to say, I didn’t get the blood test, but I wish I would have tho. I was still going thru so much in my mind that I wasn’t thinking right. My biggest question is gonna always be where did this come from but I know I will never be 100% sure!!!

[Terri Warren]

The appropriate time to have had an antibody test done was right when you had your first symptoms. If the swab test was positive for HSV 2 and the antibody test was negative for HSV 2, that would have indicated a new infection – there was virus present on the skin but no enough time had passed for antibody to have been developed. It is too late now, however.

I know you are curious about where this came from, but I think you just to face the fact that you will never know now. Has your partner tested yet? If they are negative, you can know that you did not get it from them.

Terri

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