Transmission to daughter

[terrified]

Terri, I need help. I’m on the verge oh a breakdown.
I got herpes at 15 from my first real boyfriend who failed to disclose his status.
I’m 46 now. I have herpes genitally.
I got genital herpes first at 15. It was first mainly on the area between my vagina and anus. Then when I was 20, I had an extremely severe outbreak in my mouth and lips. It started with that tingly feeling in the corner of my mouth and then resulted in sores along both sides of my tongue, tge roof of my mouth, and tiny blisters all along the outlines of my lips.
I met my husband at 16. I was in denial. I had yet to be officially diagnosed by a doctor, I had convinced myself that I was fine. I have to live with the fact that I gave him herpes. However, he doesn’t have symptoms. The only symptoms he’s had is swollen lymph nodes in the groin.
I got pregnant with my daughter at 24. I had never even heard of whitlow at this time. This was before the internet age.
If I would’ve heard of whitlow, I would’ve been hyper vigilant any gloves during diaper changes and diaper rash ointment applications. I was hyper vigilant about hand washing.
My herpes at this time was not as bad as it is now. It used to primary affect my the area between vagina and anus. It was confined to that area. I took my little baby into the shower with her naked body resting on my hip.
12 years ago though, it spread to my thighs, butt crack, pubic hair area, and sides of my vagina-where it remains to this day.
I’m terrified my daughter caught herpes from living in my home and me taking care of her.
I know I’ve asked u all this before, but the internet had so much contradictory info.
If my baby caught herpes from my husbands finger, would it be obvious? Could a baby stay asymptomatic?
Could she have caught it from wearing my husbands clean boxer shorts?
A bar of soap that my husband rubbed on his penis?
Wearing my dirty jeans?
Sitting in our shared shower?
A dirty toilet?
Sitting in her panties on our sheets we had sex on?

[terrified]

I know that I sound like a crazy person. I honestly think that this disease causes some PTSD in people, and that’s what I am experiencing. I am trying to put this fear to rest, as it is affecting the quality of my life.

[Terri Warren]

If my baby caught herpes from my husbands finger, would it be obvious? Could a baby stay asymptomatic?
Yes, it would be obvious and I don’t believe for a moment that that happened. How was he diagnosed with whitlow?

Could she have caught it from wearing my husbands clean boxer shorts?
Nope

A bar of soap that my husband rubbed on his penis?
Nope
Wearing my dirty jeans?
Nope
Sitting in our shared shower?
Nope
A dirty toilet?
Nope

Sitting in her panties on our sheets we had sex on?
And also NO!!

And I assume that you’ve had the lesions you have genitally swab test and the oral ones as well?
Terri

[terrified]

Hi Terri. Yes, I have had my genital lesions swabbed and they tested positive for HSV2.

I have not had my oral lesions swabbed.

My husband has never had symptomatic whitlow on his finger. He experience no symptoms at all anywhere except for swollen lymph nodes in the groin.

I am trying to put my fears to rest. This is not healthy for me to live in this state. I can’t go in living like this.

[Terri Warren]

I understand that it must be truly very scary to live in fear like this. I would strongly suggest cognitive behavior therapy for your situation, perhaps combined with meds. That is the perfect mental health approach to fears like you have. I hope you’ll consider it

Terri

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