Uncharted territory

[joet]

Hello Terri –

I’m involved with a women with hsv2. She first told me of the infection when we were about to have sex for the first time. She was performing oral sex on me for about 2 minutes when she stopped and told me. We stopped and talked. About 24-36 hours later I was experiencing some minor irritation on the skin and minor burning when I urinated. This sent me into a worried state. Coincidence? Possible infection? I saw my GP and he saw no visible signs and recommended against testing due to false positives and the fact that we didn’t have vaginal sex and she hasn’t had an outbreak in 3 years. It seemed unlikely, but I felt what I felt. I am a bit ocd. He did do standard STD and UTI tests that came back negative. I’m considering doing a western blot test, but need to wait 12 weeks anyway. We’ve been spending time together getting to know each other which has been great, but there is attraction and frustration. We are discussing ways we can engage for now that would be totally safe for me. Like I said, she hasn’t had an outbreak in 3 years and takes very good care of herself. Is it safe for us to engage in manual (hands only) sex with each other? Can I touch her vagina with my fingers and be safe? What else should I be considering?
Any other advise or ideas are much appreciated.

Thank you

[Terri Warren]

Her giving you oral sex presents zero risk For you acquiring her genital infection. In terms of what you can do without any risk, she can give you oral sex you can masturbate her genitally and if you use a condom and she takes daily antiviral therapy and you have sex about twice per week, the risk is about 1 to 2% per year Love you contracting HSV-2 from her. Probably good idea to take your time since you sound a bit worried about the contact that you had already.

Terri

[joet]

Thanks Terri –

Are there any precautions to be aware of with masturbating her? My fingers then able to contaminate my mouth or else where? Also, what are the risks of me giving her oral sex? Of coarse we wouldn’t engage in any of this if she was having an outbreak, but she hasn’t had one in 3 years and I’ve read so much about asymptomatic shedding, so I just want to be clear as I can. Is asymptomatic shedding more frequent at certain times, like right after an outbreak, or early on after first contracting hsv2, or is it more random?

Thanks

[Terri Warren]

Giving her oral sex is very low risk as HSV-2 does not like the oral area. However, it is not zero risk and if you acquired it orally, it would look just like a cold sore. Masturbating her presents no risk of genital or oral acquisition. Just check to make sure there are no significant breaks in the skin of your hand. About half of a asymptomatic viral shedding occurs before and after an outbreak and about half occurs randomly between outbreaks.

Terri

[Terri Warren]

Giving her oral sex is very low risk as HSV-2 does not like the oral area. However, it is not zero risk and if you acquired it orally, it would look just like a cold sore. Masturbating her presents no risk of genital or oral acquisition. Just check to make sure there are no significant breaks in the skin of your hand. About half of a asymptomatic viral shedding occurs before and after an outbreak and about half occurs randomly between outbreaks.

Terri

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