Worried

[Wit2015]

Hi Terri
I saw a sore that looked like an infected hair follicle on saturday. Went to the obgyn yesterday and the nurse practicioner did my exam. She took one look at it and said it’s herpes. I burst into tears and asked her if she was sure. Her answer was she’s been doing this for 30 years. She took a swab and it was sent off. I have NO idea how this happened. I am 43 years old and married for 5 years. Only other person I was with was ex husband 13 years ago. My husband does not have it. Maybe my ex had it and didn’t tell me? How is this happening now? I don’t have test results but I am just sick over this.
thank you for any insight.

[Terri Warren]

I’m so sorry that you are having a hard time.
When will you get your test results back? I hope soon
How do you know that your husband does not have herpes, has he had an IgG antibody test to prove that or does he just not have symptoms? If he did not, the lack of symptoms does not mean that h
doesn’t have herpes. Did you have an antibody test done at the same time your swab test was done?
Have you ever had a cold sore on your lip? Does your husband get cold sores? How about your ex husband? were they the giver of oral sex to you? It is possible to transfer virus from the mouth to the genitals of another person through oral sex.
Be absolutely certain that your nurse ordered typing on your swab test – and let’s hope it was PCR not culture as PCR is so much more sensitive though some people still aren’t up to speed on ordering the correct test and some don’t order typing. Can you call and confirm those two things?
Keep me posted on your test results, OK?

Terri

[Wit2015]

Hi Terri,

Thanks for the info and compassion. You are much more helpful and nicer than the nurse I saw.

1. Don’t know about what type of test they ordered. They did not do blood test. I can find out.

2. My current husband does not/has not has symptoms. He’s never had the test you mentioned to my knowledge. Neither if us get cold sores.

3. No oral sex with current husband, by either of us. Maybe a few times with ex husband. I don’t recall cold sores. He did have what he told me was a pimple once. He was a lying cheat and I was naive back then, so maybe that’s it. Damn it. Why would it take so long to show up.

4. Should I get a blood test? Should my husband? Could I have given this to him?

5. I’m guessing if I’m positive and he’s negative our sex life is done?

I am just sick over this.

[Terri Warren]

You need a blood antibody test. this will tell you your status NOW vs the future. I believe that you need to establish a baseline antibody test.
I still think, even though he has no symptoms, that both of you should have the IgG antibody test. symptoms are not as important as infection. A person can have antibody which means they are infected, but no symptoms ever.

If you have never received oral sex from your husband, then it could not have come from his mouth. Take that off the list. but if your ex husband gave you oral sex then you could have acquired HSV 1 from him.

If you are positive for something that he doesn’t have, then the two of you have to decide what to do about your sex life. If he isn’t so worried about getting infection, then it may not be important at all. Or if you are both infected, then you can definitely do whatever you wish. This is dependent upon your antibody test results (blood test)

Terri

[Wit2015]

Hi Terri,

Thanks for the info. I purchased more follow ups.

I will let you know what tests say.

How do we get blood tests?

Will I now get lesions on my mouth?

What is likelihood of me having already passed or passing it to

I called the office yesterday and spoke to the NP. I asked her what kind of tests she had ordered and she wouldn’t tell me. She just kept saying that she sent it away to get cultured. She’s really not nice or helpful.

I’m still really upset/sad over this. If this is hsv1 then I can assume it’s from the ex? This still blows my mind. That was 13 years ago!!!! I’m having trouble with understanding that he’s the cause because it was a really nasty marriage and divorce. Now it’s coming back to haunt me and my new marriage which is beyond wonderful.

Finally, I haven’t told my husband yet until tests confirm. He knows about the sore and the test and that I’m waiting to hear. I am NOT looking forward to this. Are there any outlines for how to break this news? I don’t know if I will be able to keep it together.

[Wit2015]

Just got results. HSV2

NP refused to order me blood test. Said no point.

What do I do next. Please help.

[Wit2015]

One more thing. My husband said he had a shingles outbreak years ago. It was a rash on his inner thigh, I think. Could that have been a wrong diagnosis?

NP said I should stay on antiviral indefinitely. Is this true? I normally dislike taking any meds.

Still reeling from all this.

[Terri Warren]

The rash on the thigh could definitely be herpes, yes. Has he had it more than once? shingles does not normally recur. I’m guessing it might well be herpes.
The antibody test could have told you if this is new or old infection. Your nurse practitioner seems to not understand this. If you have a positive swab test for HSV 2 an a negative antibody test for HSV 2, that means this is new infection . You have virus on your skin but not enough time has passed for you to have made antibody.
Please – get you and your current husband antibody tested.
You can order the test yourself online – I like healthcheckusa.com. You want the HSV IgG antibody test for HSV 1 and 2.
Please let me know how this turns out, OK?

terri

[Wit2015]

Hi Terri,

Firstly, thank you for your knowledge, empathy and compassion. You’ve really helped me get the information that I need and you’ve made me feel much better which I believe has helped my first OB subside quickly!

Following up on our conversation on Thursday, we ordered the HSV 1 and 2-Specific Ab, IgG test from healthcheckusa that day. I got blood drawn on Thursday about 3+ weeks after first symptoms. Husband got his done on Friday. I got the results today, but I don’t understand them. We’re both positive, both have red flags by the result. Could you let me know what they mean? Do they tell if one of us is newly positive?

My results:
Result Range Units
HSV 2 IgG, Type 1.22 0.00-0.90 index

Husband:
Test Description Result Range Units
HSV 2 IgG, Type 20 0.00-0.90 index

Thank you so much!

• This reply was modified 7 years, 9 months ago by Wit2015.

[Terri Warren]

As I suspected, this looks very much like your husband had a well-established infection and you have a brand new infection. You are just barely positive with the cut off being 1.1 and your score being 1.2. This is extremely consistent with you having a brand-new infection, just barely making antibody buy three weeks from initial infection. Your husband on the other hand, has a very strong positive HSV-2 infection indication. I’m so pleased that you went ahead and ordered these baseline antibody tests. It really makes the situation so much more clear and easy to understand what happened here. When you realize that 80% of people who are infected with HSV-2 do not know it, then you can have the sense that your husband truly did not know what was going on. Add that to the misdiagnosis of shingles and you have a much better understanding of your situation.

Now that you are both infected with HSV-2 this should not be a factor in your marriage. You can certainly avoid sex when it’s uncomfortable but other than that, you don’t need to worry about this anymore. I don’t know what your childbearing status is, but if you plan to have children, you should make your pregnancy provider aware of your HSV-2 infection, And they will manage it appropriately.

If you have more questions I believe you have one or two left on the subscription.

Terri

[Wit2015]

Hi Terri,

Thanks for the response. I am on a roller coaster of emotions right now. I know that in the big scheme of things, this is not a big deal. I’m glad that we don’t have to worry about passing back and forth. I’m not angry with my husband – he truly did not know he had it and feels terrible that I got it. He was stunned by his results and can’t believe he was misdiagnosed with shingles 9 or 10 years ago.

My biggest thing will just be riding the waves of emotions. I am not thrilled to be HSV2 positive at this stage in my life. I’m also into week 4 of dealing with the neurological side effects and low energy (I only had one lesion which healed in a week) which is bringing me down. I know it will just take some time to let everything sink in, and my body needs time to deal with the virus and get better from this OB. Hoping to get better soon and put this in the back of my mind and get back to doing the things I enjoy.

I’m hoping to be like my husband, one outbreak and none for 9 or so years!

Thanks again for all of your help with this and for the great work that you do through this forum and your consults. By FAR the most accurate and reassuring advice I’ve gotten from anywhere while dealing with this.

[Terri Warren]

I think you’ll get off the roller coaster when you feel better physically. In the end, I think this is a non-issue for the two of you and may even end up being better because now you are both the same and do not need to worry about transmission and you know he was not unfaithful.

Wonder if he still has the same doc he did 9 years ago. The doc could use a wake up call!

All the best to both of you.
Terri

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