March 27, 2022 at 8:35 pm #76935
Hi Terri, I struggle a little with health related anxiety and I’m overthinking an encounter.
I am a female nearing my mid-20s, and yesterday I had an encounter with a male friend I’m not particularly close to, who is a year younger than me.
We made out/kissed, and there was some grinding, however I do believe that I had my underwear on.
He also attempted to finger me, however it hurt when he tried to put his fingertip in so I basically made him stop. After that though, he rubbed around a bit with his fingers.
At some point I gave him (unprotected, no condom on him) oral sex for a little bit.
Here’s the thing though, I noticed that on his inner left thigh, he had a patch of what looked like darkened skin – it looked uneven, probably with some bumps. The room was quite dimly lit so I couldn’t really look at it properly, but I think on the left side of the patch, there were maybe 2-3 of what sort of looked like tiny bubbles. I can’t remember too well, but I don’t think they looked clustered…? And if I try to estimate the size of the total patch of red/darkened skin, it was probably 2-4cm in length.
I asked him about the patch, and he responded to me that it was like a rash he had developed from his short time in the military 2 years back. He said that it comes and goes every 3 months or something like that if I remember correctly, and that back then he googled it to figure out what it was and thinks its ringworm.
I did a bit of googling myself, and I think what he is referring to is “jock itch” since it appears on his inner thigh. However of course, I don’t think he actually saw a doctor for the rash and it might just be him googling it. I’m also quite sure he’s had a few partners before this.
I’m a little worried that it might be something else and not the jock itch that he thinks it is. Does this sound more like jock itch to you, or herpes? And do you think I should worry about having contracted herpes from this encounter I just described?
Thank you, Terri
March 27, 2022 at 9:13 pm #76936
Some more follow ups….. in the dim light it was quite hard to tell what colour the patch of skin was, maybe a darker red/pink or just slightly darkened skin in general? I don’t think it really looked “inflamed” or “angry” though, if that helps. It was also quite squarely on his inner thigh if I remember correctly, and not in the crease of the thigh where it meets the groin area, if you get what I mean.
Regarding the couple of tiny bubble looking things I could sort of spot on the left side of the patch of skin, I can’t tell if they’re actually bubbles since it was sort of dark in the room, but if they were, they didn’t really appear like they were about to burst. And in general, the patch of skin looked uneven/bumpy.
It felt uncomfortable to ask him for more info on it, since I could tell he was getting quite sensitive. He’s self-confessed to be promiscuous, although I can’t tell to what degree since that’s basically all I know. I guess I’m a little worried since he seems nonchalant about it and I’m not sure how safe he normally is with his encounters.
I guess it feels regretful because he’s someone I briefly knew from high school back then and I wish I didn’t have to have anxiety over this…
Any reassurance would be greatly appreciated, thank you Terri.
March 28, 2022 at 11:27 am #76957
When I read your description initially of the patch of skin, ringworm popped into my head right away. I seriously doubt that what you are describing is HSV. It sounds nothing like it to me. Whether this person has HSV 2 is quite another question, but if you are wondering if this patch of skin you noticed is HSV, I don’t think it was.
March 28, 2022 at 2:05 pm #76964
Hi Terri, thank you so much.
I did ask him a while after the encounter if he had anything, and he told me that he had nothing, and while I really doubt that he would knowingly lie to me, I’ve kind of learned that most people don’t even know what they have/don’t have. I do kind of feel bad for doubting him like that, but I guess that’s what persistent anxiety does to you… 🙁
From my brief encounter with him, such as briefly giving him oral, grinding (with my underwear on) and being fingered briefly – do you believe that herpes is something I should realistically be concerned about?
Thank you for your help again.
March 30, 2022 at 10:11 am #76972
Hi Terri, sorry to bother you again. 🙁
Today I noticed some slight burning and discomfort while urinating, and I think it’s a mild UTI. My pee was also pretty yellow/dark. I wouldn’t say it’s too painful or anything, but definitely uncomfortable. Do you think this is related to the encounter from a few days ago?
I counted the hours since the encounter, and it’s definitely been over 72 hours (3 days), would a UTI show up this late after sexual activities?
Part of me wonders if it could be herpes related, since I guess it doesn’t make sense to me that a UTI would show up this late (correct me if I’m wrong).
I did masturbate yesterday night though, so could it also be that?
Thank you Terri.
April 6, 2022 at 9:15 am #77015
I do not think this is related to your previous encounter, but if you have UTI symptoms, I hope you’ve been seen and treated. These UTI symptoms would not be related to masturbation and dark urine simply indicates that the urine is very concentrated and more fluids will change that.
April 7, 2022 at 3:09 pm #77040
I visited a GP here in the UK. He did not do a visual examination but told me that it was a very mild UTI – something like the hands and fingers could have also introduced bacteria. He also told me that it probably already cleared itself out, since I only experienced the symptoms very briefly.
The time I experienced those UTI symptoms was I think my first pee of the day, after I had woken up late, and then subsequently I never had discomfort again for the rest of the day and also I’ve been fine ever since.
What do you think?
April 10, 2022 at 11:26 am #77070
I think if you had a UTI, your symptoms would be lasting all day. I also don’t think your symptoms are consistent with herpes.
April 12, 2022 at 10:10 am #77109
Hi Terri, if my math serves me correctly this should be my last available reply on this topic.
Thank you for relieving my anxiety on this topic.
Do you think it’s safe for me to close this chapter and move on from this brief encounter (gave oral to him for a short while, and was also masturbated by him briefly)? In terms of herpes-related concerns of course.
I do struggle with anxiety and tend to over-focus and over-analyse situations…
April 17, 2022 at 7:47 am #77148
I do think it is OK now to close this book and move on.
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