I’m glad you are starting to be feel more relaxed about infecting your children. This concern is not unique to you – I’ve certainly had people, both men and women, concerned about this in the past.
Herpes can live off the body a very short time. And when it does, it is likely not to be able to be infectious to other given it’ very small quantity and the fact that it takes a substantial quantity of virus to infect another person. Again, in 32 years, I have never seen or heard of anyone getting herpes from something other than another person through a sexual contact. Now there are people who want to THINK that’s how they got it, but all of them have been sexually active adults and have a sexual experience at some point consistent with risk for herpes.
I can only imagine how sad you must be to have gotten herpes from a husband with whom you are no longer connected, while trying to get reconnected. Please continue to live fully and let this become a background issue in your life rather than a focus. It sounds like you have some small ones around that will be a wonderful focus.
Terri