I think the first thing to do is an antibody test to see if you have HSV 1 or HSV 2 or both. You mention that you haven’t had an outbreak in 8 years, but I still think it would definitely be worth finding out if you have HSV 1 or 2.
Most people do have fewer outbreaks over time, yes. After 20 years, I would expect that there likely has been significant decrease in your symptoms, if you are indeed having them.
Has your new partner been tested to see his status, herpes wise? Since 80% of those infected with HSV 2 don’t know it, I think it would be important for him also to get an antibody test to determine that he does or does not have something to be concerned about in terms of transmission. Once you both have your antibody test results, you can see what the true picture is and then decide more intelligently what to do about it. If indeed, you have HSV 2 and he does not, I would strongly recommend that you take daily antiviral therapy to reduce the risk by about half of infecting him. We know there are o long term health issues from taking antiviral medicine daily = either acyclovir or valtrex would be fine. Acyclovir is 400 mg twice a day and valtrex (or valacyclovir 500 mg once a day). Even though you have no symptoms currently, you can be infectious, which I think you already know. Tingling can be sign of viral activity yes, but it could also not be, not able to know without swabbing, which I think is less important than knowing your antibody status, both of you.
Antiviral therapy can be cheap – about 16$ per month if using the right prescription for acyclovir. I can help you with how that should be written. Perhaps H-balm helps YOU with your symptoms, but it is not going to help your partner be more protected against transmission. I think that is something very positive that you can do for him to help reassure him at this point.
What do you think about that?
Terri