I can certainly see why you are confused, many confusing things have happened to you!
First, I”m not so sure about the Epstein Barr thing. Many if not most of us might be positive for EBV because it is the cause of mono, which as you probably know is a common infection and depending upon the test that was positive, it may or may not indicate current infection. I don’t know exactly what was done so I can’t say for certain. This website might be helpful in understanding EBV testing for you.
As far as the genital lesions go: if you had two negative cultures, you may well NOT have genital herpes. Cultures are not the perfect test, but two negative ones with dramatic symptoms would be more unusual if you did have herpes. How long after you had the symptoms of genital ulcers was the antibody test done? If it was done too quickly after the presence of the ulcers, you may not have had time to make antibody that the test was looking for. Were you treated for herpes with antiviral therapy? When was the blood test done in relationship to any antiviral therapy that was taken? Has your fiancé been tested for HSV 1 and 2 IgG antibody? Was your antibody test an IgG test? You may need to get a copy of your lab work before you answer these questions.
I have certainly seen a combined antibody test be positive and the type specific separate IgG tests be negative. The type specific antibody tests are more accurate than the combined test. Again, we need to be certain that the separate tests were IgG tests. Can you get your lab work and tell me about timing of testing? I can help you more when I have answers to the questions above.
Terri