Well, here’s the latest. Since the day of m,y diagnosis, I’ve been paranoid to say the least, thinking and rethinking every little ailment I had and revisiting each episode for possible missed clues that I did have an outbreak but never knew it. Then I think, could that really be possible? But apparently from everything I’ve read symptoms can be so minor that they are missed or attributed to something else and some have no outbreaks at all. My OBGYN said if I never had an outbreak, it’s unlikely I’d get one by now- thinking I might have gotten this years ago, but who knows?
Well, wouldn’t you know it today I felt itchy and feel like I have blisters. I took a look see, but it was hard to tell, but I think I have blisters. Do I have an outbreak or am I paranoid? Def will see Dr as soon as I can get an appointment while I still feel this way.
Thinking back- yes my mind is in overdrive right now-My boyfriend and I broke up briefly in May-June and got back together in July. That would bring us to the 4 month mark. So, I asked him today if he slept with any of the women he met and dated a few times while we were not together. I told him it would not effect on our relationship- we’ve been together over a year- and have been through a lot together. He was there for me when I had breast cancer. I explained I just needed to know to make sense of all this and that I needed to put it to rest. I’m upset that I suspect I am having an outbreak and I know I’ve never had this before. He said no, he did not sleep with anyone- had a few dates and only kissed- no oral sex or touching. Was kind of hoping he said yes, he did sleep with someone, as strange as that may sound because at least I’d have some answers. Right back where I started with no answers- but except with a possible outbreak after maybe all these years. From what I read this does happen, but it just seems like too much of a coincidence to me.
I know they say stress can bring on an outbreak, but in the past 5 years I went through 3 years of my husband’s terminal illness being his caregiver, losing my job, having breast cancer, financial stress and trying to sell my house. If that didn’t bring on an outbreak, I don’t know what can. Except maybe the diagnosis? Can it be that this really did just put me over the edge?