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I think asymptomatic whitlow is kind of an oxymoron. Whitlow is defined by symptoms. Yes, I guess you could have oral HSV 2 asymptomatically, but that’s not common and again, most people who have HSV 2 are at least infected genitally. People do not shed from intact hand skin, by the way.
As for the incident with your friend – I do not believe that that presents any risk of infecting him, period. There was toilet paper in-between your hands and your labia, I am assuming. and even if there wasn’t, which there was, not enough virus would get on your hands to infect him. That just isn’t how this all works.
Terri