Yes, the rate of transmission of genital HSV 1 is low. That could be because it sheds less (and your numbers are right) but I”m sure it also has to do with the fact that most people already have HSV 1. Did the person you are talking to actually have testing or they just think they are negative? The shedding rate is out of 100 days, yes. We don’t have statistics on whether it is more likely to contract HSV 1 in your situation from giving oral sex or intercourse. And I’m not sure I even have an opinion about that at this time.
Most people have antibody to EBV. I don’t think that qualifies as chronic mono but if it isn’t genital, I’m less confident about my answers.
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As for your anxiety: I think it could be playing a role in that people who acquire genital herpes, regardless of type, do focus more on their genital area and notice sensations they likely would not have noticed had they not been diagnosed with herpes. It isn’t that you are imagining symptoms but rather perhaps noticing things a lot more. could that be, do you think?