Honestly, this does not sound like herpes to me. I have almost never seen a new case of herpes be only on the head of the penis without accompanying lesions on the shaft of the penis. And the red rashes that you describe that go away so quickly are definitely not at all consistent with herpes. I doubt that there is any advantage in getting them swab tested for herpes.
In my mind, you have decided, probably based on internet information or talking with others, that you have genital herpes with no accurate diagnosis.
Do you think it would be possible for you to have your blood drawn some place where you live and send it to my clinic and we could send it to a lab for testing? We would use western blot. I guess that you could just life like you have herpes forever but in this case, the evidence is just not strong enough, in my opinion, for you to live that way. At least I wouldn’t, if I was in your situation with the symptoms that you describe to me.
If you did have herpes, condoms would reduce transmission, yes.
Terri