Sometimes they test for both and sometimes not. I don’t know what your doctor did. It would be unlikely to contract both at the same time from the same person.
At some point, I think you are going to need to let him decide to take a risk and deal with the consequences if there are any to deal with. It is common for the risk of spreading herpes to be more bothersome to the person with herpes rather than the person who does not have it.