1. I have seen it happen the first time someone has sex with a new partner but rarely. I think the reason it is not common is just the statistical low risk of getting herpes with only one intercourse. Unlike gonorrhea or chlamydia which is present all the time once infected, herpes is present on and off.
2. We don’t know that for certain but we have a guess statistically. I’m not sure how the number of virus present needed to infect someone would help you. And I’m not clear that being really wet with sex makes a lot of difference. What probaly could make a difference is the fact that you had sex numerous times on the same day and were dry with some of that. Dryness can cause small tears in the skin that allow virus in more easily, the reverse of what you are describing with the initial wetness.
3. Again, dry sex can be a trigger and frequent sex after long periods of no sex can also be a trigger. So yes, your assumption is correct. it is a pity you did not have an antibody test done at that first visit – that would have told you. Are you sure you didn’t?
You have two more questions.