If your Western blot was negative, I think you should rely completely upon that result. I know you are anxious and sad and feeling suicidal but I really really don’t believe that you’re infected. You certainly aren’t infected with type II and the likelihood that you would become infected with type I at a single encounter of this kind is really so small!
It’s probably good that you discuss this with your wife so you’re not dealing with this alone and I wonder if you really ruined your life but only you can know that I suppose.
I totally agree with your doctor that three months is plenty of time to develop antibody. I hope somehow, possibly through professional counseling, you and your wife can put this episode behind you successfully.