He will not transmit to your chldren by touching inanimate things and you do not need to clean those things. They will not get it from sheets or pillows. There is no risk for him touching your children. He should not kiss on the mouth when he has a cold sore but other interactions are fine. I think you are worrying too much and I can see how he would react negatively to your fears. He should try to get the possible cold sore swab tested to find out for sure if it is a cold sore.