These bumps are not how herpes looks nor would it be on your shoulders. You are now noticing everything that previously would have had no meaning at all for you.
The viral tonsillitis that you had previously could have been due to acquiring herpes in your mouth. Were you sexually active at the time? Were you the giver of oral sex to other people during that time? It’s hard to know for sure it’s just a possibility that that was your first infection. You had only a positive antibody test but not a sore that could be swab tested, so we cannot know where your infection is for certain. However it is most likely that you have it at least genitally and possibly you have it orally and genitally. A few people do have only oral HSV 2 but that is the exception. I think it’s good that you’re getting a confirmation test because if it is positive it will help you to accept that you really are infected with herpes.
Four months is long enough to wait from an exposure until testing as in the case of your husband. If he is negative for HSV-2 four months out from their exposure then it is likely that that is an accurate result and he is not infected.
If I were you I would take the focus away from other parts of your body that might have rashes and focus on the genital and oral area. When I say genital area I mean the area between your waist and the middle of your thighs. This is the area innervated by the sacral ganglia. Outbreaks can occur anywhere in this area and are considered genital herpes. For the facial area you want to look at the whole face but particularly focus on the mouth lips and nose when looking for lesions.