May I ask exactly how were you were diagnosed with HSV 2 infection? Swab test? Blood test? If yes, blood test, do you recall the number associated with you lab result?
I don’t believe that back pain is really a symptom of genital herpes, per se. Some people with genital herpes experience some pain in the buttocks or down the back of the leg as a prodromal symptom, before an outbreak comes, but nothing like the pain that you are describing at all. My guess is that your back pain was related to something else that may have also triggered a herpes outbreak.
There is no need to be concerned about transmission of your genital herpes to members of your household with whom you are not having sex. A simple hand washing after using the restroom is fully adequate. Don’t over do it, it can become a very bad habit.