This is a very unfortunate situation for both of you, but particularly you. Damn! You must be very disappointed.
So first things first. Has he actually been tested to know if he has HSV 1 and/or HSV 2? This is NOT traditionally done in the military so don’t let that dissuade you from asking him. I’ve been asked this question many times before.
Also, you need to know if you have HSV 1 or 2. You both need a type specific IgG antibody test. You can order you own tests on the internet if you wish.
Do you take daily antiviral medicine? If not, I would strongly suggest that. I can reduce transmission by almost half over not using any medicine.
No matter where the actual lesion is, you can shed virus from the vagina at any time, with or without symptoms. Covering the lesion won’t help.
Eighty percent of those infected with HSV 2 don’t know it so him no having symptoms is not definitive. Also, you could have HSV 1 genitally. Has he ever had a cold sore? If yes, then he has HSV 1.
I hope you will both get further testing to get clear about who has what so you are at least dealing with real facts rather than guesses.
Please ask me more questions if you have them
Terri