You can seek the western blot any time, but if you are looking for new infection only, it is best to wait 4 months from a risky encounter. In your case, if you keep having sex, it is a moving target all the time.
If I had to guess about you, I would guess, and it is a total guess, that you have HSV 1 but not HSV 2.
Yes, the lesion that she presented with at the clinic could have happened prior to her making antibody, in fact, likely did.
Terri