In addition to your medicine, I hope you will consider seeking help from a Cognitive Behavioral therapist.
I don’t want to downplay your reaction to herpes as irrational or an overreaction, but I do know for 100% certainty that many people live totally happy productive loving lives with genital herpes. They have lots of sex and they have children and grandchildren and they have people who adore them. They have sex partners who would happily trade off acquiring genital herpes as opposed to not being with their beloved partner. I see this in my office all the time. Promise.
Can you break down the elements of the herpes mental prison for me? What kinds of things are you telling yourself about having herpes when you have these thoughts?
Have you talked with your counselor about these suicidal thoughts? It is important that you do. Some of the meds that you are taking could be contributing to these thoughts, in some people. I’m not saying they ARE, I’m just saying it is extremely important that you talk with your therapist about all of this.
Once again, I will tell you that the vast majority of people with genital herpes live full and happy lives. No, they don’t love having genital herpes but they recognize that everyone has some characteristics that they or others might view as negative. One of your is having herpes, other people just have different ones! I will say that folks with OCD and herpes have a rough time sometimes – it certainly is a place to “put” those OCD thoughts. I am very sad for you and am here for you to help, but you must also involve your therapist who is with you.
Terri
Terri