Reply To: Did I just get HSV2 on the mouth?

[Zoros_LekLek]

Right. So my final question is about what I should be doing moving forward. I don’t think I’ll be dating this girl long-term — she’s moving to Europe in a couple of months anyway. So I want to know a little bit more about recurrences, contagion, and disclosure.

I might have had cold sores before, as a kid, but I don’t think I’d ever had a cold sore like this — one that actually included my lip, created transparent fluid, and was just so obviously abnormal. This is part of what made me think that I had only just gotten HSV1 — but the antibodies suggest otherwise. If I understand this rightly, then, for 3 1/2 years I was dating someone else, without developing sores, but putting her at risk constantly (I had oral sex with her, and obviously kissed frequently).

So: should I be expecting further recurrences? I don’t remember getting a flu as bad as this one, either, not for a very long time. So should I be treating this outbreak like an anomaly? Or the beginning of further outbreaks to come?

As for contagion — I again, just have very little sense of when or where I might have acquired HSV1. I tend to be in long-term relationships. Before the girl I dated for 3 1/2 years, I dated someone else for 1 year. I think in six years, I’ve hooked up with a total of two people I wasn’t dating. Neither of them led me to exhibit symptoms, or to have the kind of outbreak I’m having now. Nor did I pass anything onto them. I guess, along with a question about whether I’ll have recurrences, I’d like to know whether I should be thinking of myself as highly contagious, or contagious only during outbreaks, or what.

That leads to the final thought — I did not realize, before googling HSV1 like mad over the course of the last week or so, that it could be (a) asymptomatically transmitted; and (b) infect genital areas as well. This was surprising and terrifying news, and it seems to shift around years and years of my life that, retrospectively, look irresponsible and risky. Would it be right to say, then, that I should be disclosing that I have HSV1 to all partners, prior to kissing them, and certainly prior to having oral sex with them — whether or not I have an outbreak, or have had one for x or y amount of time? That seems rather daunting, but also, I guess, the thing called for by this new development. Thoughts on the matter would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you for everything, Terri. This forum has been a tremendous blessing, and clarified things immensely. You’re doing something great with this forum — I know other people appreciate it as much as I do. All the best!