It sounds like you are thinking quite rationally about the whole issue of herpes with this man.
Yes, people can have prodrome before a first outbreak and in fact most people do. but it doesn’t last a long time – how long has yours lasted? The whole two months you’ve been together?
I do think it is very common for people who are not infected having sex with someone who is to notice many genital sensations that they might not have otherwise noticed. I’ve been in your position and at the beginning of my relationship with someone who had herpes, my sensation antenna were way up. That does fade over time for sure. However, there could be other things going on here including but limited to a reaction to latex. There are also bacteria and fungi that people can pass between each other that aren’t often thought about.
I think lambskin condoms are a fine alternative to latex. No, they probably aren’t quite as effective but they are certainly better than no barrier. Also, even though he isn’t currently having outbreaks, I think the option of him taking daily antiviral therapy would still help reduce the risk of infecting you. Whether he wants to do that is an open question but I think daily therapy is a simple, cheap (if the prescription is written correctly) and low side effect risk to decrease the risk of transmission by almost 50% over not taking therapy. It is true that people who have herpes for a longer time shed virus less often, in general, which is a good thing in your situation.
You may want to retest at some point but for you, it will always be a moving target, reflecting your HSV 2 status a few months back.
Terri