1. What is the chance of me transmitting?
Very close to zero. If the skin on his hands was intact with no breaks, I’m not worried about transmission at all.
2. He has no open wound in the hand, he washed hands right after. Contact happened about 5-10 minutes. I don’t think he rubbed the lesion, but cant be too sure. Without direct contact, the genital including the clit is very infectious too?
I think you’re fine. We don’t know specifically if the clitoris sheds virus
3. Even with disclosure, the thoughts of transferring is unbearable. I’m very uneasy during and after sex. I read that herpes whitlow incubation is 2-20 days. This will cause me losing sleep for the next 20 days. Years and I have not come to terms into this issue. How can I work on this?
You can take my advice and know that the intact skin of hands does not get infected with HSV 2.
3. Does it have to be open wound like cut on the tip of finger? The skin on the corner of the nails can be quite sensitive and sometimes may have small cracking. But main contact is with the tip of finger. I worry fluid may be involved in the upper finger. Is it possible transmission way too?
I really don’t believe so, no
4. Any extra precaution to prevent transmission apart from abstain during OB, use protection and anti viral? Does cleaning up before and after the intercourse help? Can we Use of lubricant to reduce frictions?
Cleaning up after intercourse MAY be helpful but we just don’t know. Lubricant to reduce friction may be helpful for you to reduce the possibility that friction triggers an outbreak
5. Please advise on how to manage the transmission while trying to conceive?
there are some options, including artificial insemination either at home or in a clinic, increasing the dose of antiviral medicine during fertile periods,
6. Is female condom more effective in preventing transmission than the male one?
Probably
7. The statement that “70% transmission is from someone with no apparent symptoms”. Does it mean that 70% transmission happens during the non outbreak times? So it is very highly dangerous to have intercourse during the no symptoms?
It is not highly dangerous to have intercourse with no symptoms, it is just possible to transmit virus when no symptoms are present.
Thank you.