1. Intrauterine herpes. How do I stop worrying about this? I have 3 healthy children, expecting #4. What are the chances my baby gets infected in utero, after having HSV2 for 12 years. I see it is rare but has happened. Is there anyway to prevent it?
No, there is no way to prevent it and yes, it is exceedingly rare
2. Whitlow. I didn’t even know about whitlow until about 6 years ago and it triggered major OCD. I get anxious sometimes thinking that I wasnt careful enough before and could have infected my hands. But the truth is MOST people with hsv2 do not infect their hands correct? If I had contracted whitlow in the past, I would know because it is a very obvious infection? Whitlow would not be easily confused with dyshidrotic eczema which I get on my hands sometimes? I shouldnt worry about having an asymptomatic infection of whitlow in my hands?
Correct. you should not worry about this. And extragenital or extra oral infection almost always happen during the first infection with either a new oral or genital infection and you are way past that. Whitlow is really obvious, yes
3. Spreading HSV around my body. Can water, even a drop, transport herpes? Can water running down from my genitals in the shower infect other parts of my body? If I am washing my genitals and some drops of water spray up onto my breast or my eye could that cause an infection? If I use a towel to dry off water on my inner thigh near my genitals and then dry another body part, could I spread herpes this way? Can urine transmit herpes? If I get some on my hand or it runs down my leg a little?
None of this is a risk of infection, no.
4. Erythema multiforme- should this be a rational concern of mine? I have had HSV2 for almost 13 years and before suppressive therapy had 4-10 outbreaks a year. Also, is that concerning that I had such frequent outbreaks? That I have more of the virus than other people, or my body didn’t have good control of the virus?
This is not something you should worry about no,
5. My kids.Even if I have dampness from sweat or whatever, herpes can not get through clothing? Sometimes my kids hang around my legs and will touch my genital area accidently (with clothes on). Could herpes live in an loofa sponge, towel or washcloth more than 5 minutes or so?
HSV does not go through clothing. We recommend that people not share towels or washcloths.