You are correct that we don’t have any female to female transmission data, sure wish we did. Oral sex (the giver) has little risk of acquiring HSV 2 orally as HSV 2 doesn’t like the mouth area very well, you are correct. The receiver of oral sex has no risk of acquiring HSV 1, should the other partner has it as HSV 2 protects against HSV 1.
If fingers are intact, there is no risk of transmission.
If there is genital to genital rubbing this is limited risk, but not zero. Female to female transmission of HSV 2 is quite uncommon, but again, not zero.
If you take daily antiviral medication, either 500 or 1000, the risk is reduced significantly.
Please let me know what other questions you may have.
Terri