I’m so sorry to hear that you are still struggling with this concern. If you’ve read much of this forum, you will see that your concerns are quite common, particularly among new moms.
1. Touching any objects with my cracked hands (doorknobs, a sofa, sheets,..) after it was touched by a hsv2 positive person who first touched his genitals.
I don’t really understand, if you have this concern about him or you having HSV 2, why you don’t test and see if you have it? This just doesn’t make sense to me that you worry so much about this but won’t test?
2. Touching a toiletseat, flush, bathroomsink with my cracked hands
3. Touching a trash can with my cracked hands after an hsv2 positive person put his toilet paper or a paper towel that he used to clean up after mastrubating in that thrash can.
4. How long could the virus survive on surfaces like doorknobs, sheets, a sofa,…
a very short time and there is likely not enough virus to infect someone else from these items anyway
5. Touching a towel used by a hsv2 positive person with my cracked hands
6. I worry about my 7 month old daughter getting hsv. I am scared of letting people holding her or myself infecting her when she touches my mouth (no sore present)
This is an irrational concern. Surely, if someone has an active cold sore, I would limit their contact with your daughter but otherwise, I think you should proceed as normal. And she isn’t going to get HSV 1 from you when you are asymptomatic by touching your lip, no.
6. I am scared I could get whitlow and then infect her. Would she die from the infection at the age of 7 months?
7. If someone touches his coldsore and then would touch a changing mat and I put my baby down on it a few moments after, does this pose a risk?
8. Can I share drinks with my toddler or eat from the same plate/share cuttlery with him when I have no coldsore present (I do get them few times a year)
9. My toddler sometimes kisses me on the mouth (very quickly so I don’t always get te chance to turn my head). Is this big risk for him since I carry the virus orally?
Are you getting therapy for these concerns? They really don’t pose a risk to your children but they do pose a risk to your future mental health, most certainly.