Sex toys are a potential method of transmission if the toy is first put into the vagina of someone with HSV 2 and then put into the vagina of someone who does not have HSV 2.
It is likely not much better to take 1000 mg rather than 500. Some people do benefit from 500 taking twice a day however.
I don’t think the type of lubricant is as important as just using lubricant because for some people, rough or prolonged intercourse (or use of toys) can be a trigger for an outbreak.
Spooning without genital to gential contact is not a risk for transmission, no.