it takes direct contact to transfer virus from your husband to your child.
You asked if your child would be severely ill if they acquired HSV 1 at 10 months. The answer is likely not. I ran this question earlier by an expert in neonatal herpes and he indicated the child would be OK if they acquired HSV at 10 months.
You can put her bottles in the dishwasher, that’s fine for cleaning
Do you think your husband would consider going on suppression while your baby is still young, this seems to worry you so greatly?